I prayed for changes to happen in my life... but I didn't know that a drastic change will instantly take place in my life in just one night without any known reason at all and reason that I know. I lost the person I value most. My enrollment target didn't make it. So I declared losses this year. Another blow is here again in my family... all results hanging on air.

I needed a change... but not like this.

The sudden change took me in a whirlpool of pain. It's hard to get back on tract again. But my survival instinct is alive- I will survive!

I will because there is a much bigger picture than this someday which I still don't realize now in my mind. But there will be.

Am wearing this mysterious engagement ring again which was found in our room, whose ring size fits only mine. It symbolizes a new morning for me and new doors to get through.

Now am flying again, still in pain but flying. And doors are really opening up. The people and situation who hurt me paved the way for a brand new morning. I thank the Lord because He loves me and is good to me.


Let us see who's gonna laugh at the finish line! Ha ha ha ha!

In Pursuit of Change

I want changes in my life.
I dream of new and big things in my life
because I want to do big things also.
Not just for the people I love,
But also for the people I don't know personally,
And for myself.

I burned my ship to pursue changes,
So I will not look back and doubt,
And fear.
I said, " I will do the best I can, and will not set sail home
Until my mission was accomplished."
But sunsets and weddings, paddling on quiet waters of the bay,
Are like whispers, prompting me,
To build the ship that I have burned behind.

But no.
God has made ways for moving on.
Words of His were spoken, alive and well in my spirit.
There is no room for ashes.
There is no room for whispers.

Bigger things come to those who knows how to open the gates of heaven.
To those who knows what dead to self means.
To the courageous and persistent.
To the dreamer and the doer.
To those who wants to pursue changes.


"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways,
and My thoughts than your thoughts.

For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven,
and returneth not hither, but watereth the earth,
and make it bring forth and bud,
that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

So shall My word be that goeth forth out of My mouth:
it shall not return unto Me void,
but it shall accomplish that which I please,
and it shall prosper in the thing
whereto I sent it."

Isaiah 55:9-11

Cassava anyone?

Sitting by the charcoal stove of a tribe woman while she's cooking some food, one idle, starry night, other tribe's women came along and talked almost endlessly about the many recipes one can make out of cassava, their "basic food".

They said, it's better grated and the juice squeezed out to prevent poisoning, then add the spices you want. I've tasted their food and it's good. You can cook it like a hotcake, minus the egg, and taste like an ordinary hotcake. They call it apam. Make it bigger, they use it as wedding cakes, mixed with oil and sugar, and decorated with little flags. They call it panyam. The tastiest is daral, cooked as thin as the lumpia wrapper, with grated fresh coconut and sugar as fillings, wrapped like the ordinary lumpia. The sindol is cooked like a stew, mixed with brown mongo seeds- the best in zamboanga! they said. My mother mixes grated kinchay, ginisa mix, onion and pepper dash with it, form it into balls and deep fry them. My collegues even cook these balls ala mechado or menudo. They're great! Heavy to the stomach!

Maybe this food makes these people stronger than us. They're carbo-loaded!


It's my habit to watch the late program of 700 club in channel 11 every night of my stay in my house. That was a week ago. Coming from my work from the tribe, one of my eye twitched. Maybe a reaction to the extreme heat or maybe my moisturizer. It was disturbing!

That night in that program, Ms. Coney got a word of knowledge while praying, about someone who is watching with a twitching eye which God was healing. I was amazed and immediately thank God for the healing. The next morning, I found out that my eye was healed! Oh great! I can't believe that I will recieve such an attention from the Lord and I am so happy!

Staying in the Vineyard

The long months away from here were very busy months, juggling from Batangas to Manila and forth. The odds increased when I was demanded a 150 out-of-school children to teach through our BLP Program (Basic Literacy Program) under the ALS of DepEd Batangas. And mind you, it's all for nothing!

Friends say, " What do you get from it?" I said "Nothing". "So why stay?". they asked. All of my friends now are engaged in business if not in their own professions.

I was only 18 when I discovered that I will be a Vineyard worker. When I got my degree in college and have my own business, when this call materialized. That's why I retained the non-stock,non-profit nature of my business. I also found out that my ancestors were Vineyard workers, and it's running down up to the present generations of our clan. Most of my cousins and my own family are all Vineyard workers. My parents said that it's a very noble thing to work in the Vineyard. My brother, who is a AVP in JP Morgan, is a Vineyard worker, so as my other brothers!

The Vineyard is the richest and largest company in the world. No retirement. The tenure is secured. No one gets hungry. No losses, just dividends to earn. And if you have a business, connecting your business to it means profit! The qualification needed to be employed may be a bit difficult, but it's worth it! It's system and principles may be different from the common but they're easy to follow and apply.

But most of all, you get to meet it's Owner 24 hrs a day. Everytime you need Him, He's there. So problems are that hard to solve. And He also stays even if you don't ask Him to be around.

Why I stay?

Because it's an honor to serve Isa Al-masih (Christ the Messiah)!

What I Did Last December

I made it through the 2008! I can say, that year was a rather difficult one for me. But I got plenty of blessings to from the Almighty, and am so thankful about them. I am also thankful about friends who got so positive insights towards things, who reminded me about turbulence and opulence, of changes and finding new "cheese", and of "burning" the past in order to get to the future.

I got my best Christmas and New Year. There was no lucrative food around. Noche Buena came in with coffee and brownies, and New Year with macaroni salad, kapeng barako and loud shouts and noises, the 12th midnight chasing children in the neighborhood with our "torotots", and ending the new year with a series of movies in HBO till 4am. I've never felt so free and so happy, feeling so light and things so easy! Up to now I still have it.Was it because the difficult situations of 2008 was solved?No, they're still here! What happened? Because a great change took place inside me, inside my mind. I began to sleep well, eat plenty, smile and bloom a lot and looked at things differently than before. And I found out that when you smile, the whole world smiles at you, is true.

What I did?
1. Love myself. I gave myself a vacation.
2. Travel.
3. Enjoy being with my family and tribe
4. Re- frame my mind.
5. Read Stainless Longaniza by Bob Ong, Who Moved My Cheese by Dr. Spencer Johnson, Your Best Life Now by Ptr. Austin, the Bible and my journal.
6. Play the brain twister

When you smile, the whole world smiles at you!