Tams and Joy

Unlike the other married couples in our Badjao community, Tams and Joy's love story is different. The two got married out of passionate love for one another contrary to the Badjao culture of marriage.

In our tribe, if a man wants to get marry, which is usually begins at the age of 13. He will go around the community, or go to other Badjao communities in Luzon and Mindanao to look for a girl he wants to marry. It is not out of love but out of want, mixed with the interest in the status of the girl and her family. If he finds a girl he wants, he will then, with his family elders, post a dowry dictated by the girl's family. If the girl refuses to accept the dowry of the man, she will be "legally liable" to the community and the man's family that she has to pay a certain amount as moral damages penalty for refusing the man. Most of the girls really has no choice but to accept and marry any man who would post a dowry in the liking of their families.

And I saw how these loveless marriages work in the community. They often give me headache . Annulment of marriage costs only P2,000 depending on the business sense of the tribal leader.The jewelries and monetary dowry will be divided. The children are automatically awarded to the father.


But Tams and Joy are different. Their families do not approved of one another because Tams is poor. He was a sea diver. Joy comes from the Abdullah clan, well to do. But the two eloped so they won't be separated. And in their culture, if a woman is seen with a man, she is already perceived as " not virgin anymore." So the families got no choice but to wed the two regardless of the dowry.

Theirs is the only marriage that didn't cause me headache. They are harmonious. Though very poor, I don't hear or see them arguing about jewelries, food and money which most couples do after a long week of selling pearls by the men. They speak sensibly about life and their faith in God. Their children are quiet and well behaved. I see how Tams rear his 2 boys to serve God in their early years, teaching them to recite memory verses from the Bible and how to worship Isa Almasih. Tams is one of my student in our training class. He is grade zero, as he calls himself. He never attended school in our community because he needs to sell pearls everyday because of poverty, yet he strove hard all by himself to read and write... and he does now! His diligence to study the Word of God, attend my training class and read and write, he is now one of my finest speaker in class. And his wife Joy is a very good song leader.


Looking at Tams and Joy during our Sunday Worship Service, I can't help but smile and utter a wishful prayer to have a family like this. The smile continue a smile.


Cruising along Manila on Eicher's "mercedez benz" ha ha ha! The rain suddenly poured.
O my gosh! It's raining! And Eicher started calling out my name telling me it's raining and as if I could do something to stop the rain from falling.

I started to pray and look at the sky, " Lord, make the rain to stop. I don't want to get wet!"
The answer came right away- the rain stopped!
"Ha ha ha galing mo hah!", said Eicher.
A tinkling idea flashed to my mind, " If I can make the rain to stop from falling, then I can make the miseries to stop coming in to my life.". Yeah, I can!

A friend texted me this puzzling quotation : " Do one thing. Do it right. Finish it."
I will follow the rain principle and finish it!

My headache persists as I am making this screwy plan in my life. My mom was sleeping with the radio on beside her. The announcer said, " When God speaks that He will do something in your life, He will do it in your life 100 percent!". Oww gosh, the heavens is screaming on my ears again! Ha ha ha ha! Here comes the sun! the sunflowers and the sunburns! he he he!

I will wait upon the Lord.
He's been so good to me!

Consolation of the Rain

Reading gives me consolation after a very tiring and dissapointing day. It's a hobby thats worth the effort of scanning and comprehending the written lines. As writers put it: there's hidden "jewels" there.

In my effort to save and keep the school going, I devised a lot of ways to reach my objective. I met a lot of disappointment, shed a lot of tears, got sick and withdrawn a little from the crowd to think, re-think, sink and get up again.

It's my one of those days today. My burning drive to work was met in the middle by a heavy rain! My red dress got wet and my asthma-caused-by- stress attacked. I was forced to stop watching the rain goes down, flooding my way. I managed to get to my office, at least, to stop and wait for a chance to continue my hitting the road.

"The rain kills my opportunity today!" I said to myself.
I pulled out the red book from the shelf, read and waited for the rain to stop.

1. Give with all your heart and mind. When you stop giving, the creation will also stop giving...to you.
2. Sometimes appreciate the animals around specially the birds. I don't like animals. Their feathers and hair make me allergic. But dear, it is right! The kittens playing on my roof give me some sort of enjoyment by just watching them. One of the little things I forgot.
3. Break your mental bondage. Limitations are in our minds only. We can do things only if we like them to. Set our mind free from limitations. The rain limits my action today but that doesn't mean I have to stop. I can't stop now.
4. Humans has the capacity to succeed and victorious. We also have the capacity to fail and be defeated. Our mind is the difference.
5. The void in us can give us the ability to "bend down" without breaking in times of difficult and harsh situations. The void in me must dictate me not to give up and not to stop until my goal is realized.
6. Perfect timing is a very valuable element of success.

The rain didn't at all ruined my opportunities... it made me to stop and give thought on those things. It's not bad after all.

To My Long Lost Friend

It's been a very long time I haven't heard
About you.
You disowned me.
You blocked me in your Friend's list in Friendster.
You looked at me with dark, piercing eyes,
As if I'm more criminal
than catwoman!
Just because I loved someone
who's not you.

There was a long silence in your camp.
Your aching words swept all our friends
Away from me,
To side with you.
As if, I'm more scally than Jezebel the mermaid!

Then, unexpectedly,
A stranger's text... it was you!
"Amazing huh!" I said.
"It was just part of some small changes."
You said,
Of the disowning and the long silence.
We're friends, you said, anyway.

Are we?
My mind raced from the past to the future.
Why?
I know you.
Other friends that shoo away
Resurrected!
Why?

It will take an order of coke float,
two sambos, and
a glass of black gulaman
for me to find out why.

but you won't change my mind!

On Stopping

Sitting before the blogger dashboard, my world froze for quite a long time.
"What will I write?" My last post was on May and it's already July.
My mind wandered until all I see on my computer's screen were the screen savers.
My mind went back as far as May...

Iwas so preoccupied by so many things that my mind stopped talking!
I stopped looking at things and situations.
I stopped thinking about those things and situations.
I stopped gaining insights.
I stopped appreciating.
And I saw I became so sensitive.
My courage was lessen.
And I was diagnosed with a heart damage that will be with me a lifetime.
No possible remedy.
And I was forced to stop for a while from minding a lot of things and people
And I start to think again and appreciate.

My forced vacation made me realized I'm still alone.
But the flowers are beautiful, the wind smells good, the sunsets speak of God!
Life is beautiful.
My courage came back so is my strenght.
I feel more alive and free!
My mind started to see again.
Catch me if you can!

"You see?"

A couple in conflict came to me with 2 elders in the community, who wants to call it quit. The argument looks pretty senseless to me but it appeared a major problem to this couple because of cultural weight. I have said a lot just to keep them in-tack, even cattering to their emotion just to keep the marriage going. Replies from the couple came with tears... with my understanding na "ay naku, di ako maintindihan!". Until I resorted to the last weapon I know to make them understand and keep their marriage:

(In english)

"Don't you know that if you will be apart, you may enjoy it for the next 2 months, but you see it's lonely after those months! It's lonely to grow old alone and in our culture, you cannot re-marry. You see, you will feel the pain when hariraya, your birthday and new year come. It's difficult to sleep at night, alone because there will be no one there to hug you or care for you when you get sick. You see, it's what I wanna say... fight for your love!"

ang drama! grabe!

but once again... it works!

but i got the stress not because of the convincing power I let go out, but because of the last part of my statement!

I lost a husband,
I lost also a friend of long years,
And I lost friends, close friends..
The losing never stop.
Up to the last minute I said to myself:
"What else will I lose?"
I climbed a thousand Mt. Moriahs.
How many more Moriahs will I climb?

The problem with people is that during nights they are sleeping
while people like me are awake, thinking, praying, hoping... crying...silently,
so no one will hear. so no one will be disturbed.


Tomorrow I will travel again, will be very busy again.