Caught In The Act

I was reading  the passage on John 8: 1-11 of the Bible. It's about a woman caught in adultery by the people. She was brought to Christ who was then teaching before a lot of people. Those who brought the woman aimed to look for a cause to accuse Christ .... and to shame the woman.

I was watching the New Tribes Mission's presentation of the Creation, which is part of the project given to me to interpret on the paper, when I thought about the passage. Two images are playing on my mind at one time : the video of the Creation and the passage... I can imagine the scene, noting in my mind that Christ wrote on the ground while the woman's accusers were talking to Him about the woman. So cool is our Savior.. I thought.

And then with a calm voice, He said - " He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." and continued writing on the ground.

I wonder what Jesus was writing on the ground?
- the woman's sin?
-the people's sin?
or my name? Hahaha

The passage said, the people who are accusing the woman left. Even the very ones who are listening to Jesus' teachings, left! And there were only the woman and Jesus.

"Where are your accusers? Has no one condemned you?" Jesus asked.
" No man, Lord."  She said
"Go and sin no more." Jesus answered.


The video reached the point, presenting Eve eating the forbidden fruit and their eyes were opened. From that point, all men started to become sinners.  The video opened up to that presentation with :

" God created man out of His great love. He created us to love Him and part of that great love is His giving us the freedom to choose."


Sin has made man accusers and judges. Even our own conscience judge us and accuse us. No one has ever made a perfect life, a perfect attitude, a perfect relationship, a perfect him...
When we commit an evil or a wrong doing.. the tendency is always to seek punishment, be punished or be accused.

Will the hurt never end?

God gave us the freedom to choose, and God gave us also the help if we can no longer hold on because of our choices. That's what I think, is what He wrote on the ground---- a new law! A law setting us free from the punishment of the Law of Moses.  The new law Jesus expressed by saying:

" He who has no sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her."

Jesus didn't condemned the woman, He just forgave her and told her... " Go and sin no more."
You might say-- the woman never asked forgiveness.
Oh, her silence in the midst of shame was enough to admit that she was wrong.She never contests the people's claim. She was ready to accept the stones.

God's unconditional love gave us the freedom to choose. But has His forgiving, longing arms always waiting for us to come back and willing to accept us no matter how grievous our sin may be. His law of love and forgiveness, defies all law !

The Journal

The meeting was cancelled and I remembered the journal I was looking for for many weeks now. I need to find it..... in it are important write-ups I wrote years back that may impact the next years of my life.

I began unearthing the second floor of my house. I can feel it's just somewhere. And I found things that I have forgotten about .

Ang dami kong kalat... and look at what I have found:

gift cards from former students and letters from my kids. Oh I found a letter too from my mom....

my old dancing shoes... I remember performing with the our team in Cuneta Astrodome before thousands of audiences. Ours was the highlight. The energy was outrageous! That shoes brought me to different places and met different people, and brought me happy memories.

Things I hid inside my pillow. Ang mga ito ang tatapos sa mga pagtataka at paghahaka-haka ng maraming tao. Alam kong isang araw ay mababasa nila ang blog na ito. But when I found this, I decided to destroy them. Let everybody die wondering!! Nagpatawad na ako, hindi ko na kailangan ang mga ito at wala na ako pakialam.

the bracelet, yari sa black swarovski crystal and

the anklet ( pearls) I made 6 years ago.... the pearls were from my mom's wedding dress.... sinungkit ko! haha !

and few of the tribal necklaces na natago ... nakaipon pala ako ng isang kahon ng mga ganyan.

and finally after isang oras ng paghahanap... nakita ko din journal ko...... madami na akong naipong alikabok at agiw sa dustpan.

ang journal... nasa kahon pala ng mga itinago kong pambalot ng bulaklak na natanggap ko . Nasa loob din ng kahon ang mga sulat, pictures, wallets, accessories at dried flowers na natanggap ko ng mga nagdaang panahon. Sus, nu ba yun? Iniipon ko pala !

Whatever coaches may say, when you want to scale your future and do something for it, you cannot avoid looking back in the past, to find out what has been wrong and what has been good. To get some clues that may lead you to the keys... the keys that will unlock doors to what you are looking for, to paths that you want to take.

For me, I just want to find out the things I have discovered way back then, bring them to mind again and share with others.... maybe I could spark a little light..

May Isang Cupcake

Isang araw, I got in to find a cupcake specially for me.... and wow, naging araw-araw na ganun!! Sobrang saya ko, kasi kahit drawing lang ang cupcake totoo siya sa nagbigay at sa akin na binigyan!! Hindi alam ng nagbigay na abot batok ang ngiti ko! hahahahaha!!!

Isang araw, pinalungkot ako ng cupcake na ito-- dahil hindi sinasadyang naipakain ito sa iba. Bigla kong naramdaman na parang may bumitaw at pakiramdam ko ay bumulusok ang aking katawan sa isang malalim na balon, isang madilim na balon... biga akong nangapa! Hindi ko makita ang aking minamahal! At ako ay nag-umpisang matakot......

Alam kong nainis ang nagbigay ng cupcake dahil parang biglang nagkaroon ng hindi magandang kahulugan ang isang hindi sinasadyang kilos...alam kong hindi niya nagustuhan ang lahat ng aking naramdaman ng dahil sa cupcake... sa cupcakes na pwede naman niyang palitan, ngunit bakit isang big deal ang pagkawala ng limang piraso lamang? Hindi ko siya masisi. At dama ko ang kung ano man nararamdaman niya sa mga oras na yun. Kung alam lang niya na higit pa sa lahat ng naramdaman niya ang naramdaman ... magkahalong kalituhan, kalungkutan at pagkabigo! grabe! sagad!

Dalawang araw akong naghanap ng solusyon... gusto kong umalis sa balon, makakita ng liwanag, makita ang lugar, makita ang aking mahal at patayin ang may kagagawan.... ang aking calling na nagdala ng "gesture" sa aking buhay.

" You should have been proud you have that."

" No, am not."

" It brings the sun to your heart."

"And it also kills it."

"Many people wants to have it. They are even spending money to have it though they only get the acquired...you have the genuine.."

"Kanila na!"

....yan ang ilan sa mga pagtatalo sa aking isip.

Mabuti na lamang may kaibigan akong nakakaintindi ng aking nararamdaman. Alam na kaagad niya ang mga tanong ko kahit hindi pa ako nagsasalita.... madalang kasi na ako ang magyayang magkita kami. Karaniwang siya ang nagyayaya pero hindi niya ako mapapunta. Hindi diretsuhan ang aking mga pagtatanong pero deretso ang kanyang mga sagot. At nang mag-umpisa na akong magsalita ng diretso sa gusto kong tukuyin... nagliparan ang daan-daang ibong langay-langayan sa aming lugar.... sa sky garden ng SM North Edsa na para bang gustong mangakinig sa aming pinag-uusapan.

Masaya akong umuwi. Hindi lang liwanag ang nakita ko...... nakita ko ang buong lugar, nakalabas ako sa balon , nakita ko ulit ang aking mahal. Nakatulog ako sa van, naramdaman ko ang pagod. Pagdating ko sa bahay, pinuntahan ako ng nagbigay sa akin ng cupcake, matapos ang ilang pag-bibiruan pinasunod nya ako sa kanya sa kanyang lugar at aking gulat ko ng makitang pinuno niya ng cupcakes ang kanyang buong lugar!! "Lahat ng yan ay para sa iyo". Naramdaman ko kung gaano niya ako kamahal. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa sobrang tuwa at saya ... dinaan ko ang lahat sa biro.

" Wala kang tatakasan, wala kang papatayin dahil ikaw 'yan. Tatlong panahon na ang nagdaan na pinalampas mo, panahon na para pansinin mo. Hindi mo kailangan ang mga bagay para ka sumaya or else may kulang... masaya ka na, hindi mo lang nalalaman dahil nakatuon ang isip mo sa ideal na isinet-up mo na nakikita mo sa iba.. hindi ganun ang disenyo mo. Tapos na ang panahong kumakagat ka ng bibinga. Gusto mong magkaron ng hinihingi mo dahil masaya ka na. Matutunaw ang mga bagay kung gugustuhin mo pero kung ayaw mo, mananatili sila."

Naintindihan ko.

" Ang cupcake ang gumising sa 'yo para malaman mo na panahon na para kumilos ka. Ang buhay ay isang malaking puzzle na orchestrated lahat ng kalangitan... pati ang panahon ng pag-iipon at pagsusudlong ng mga piraso nito ay orchestrated ng Maykapal. Mabagal ka kapag paulit- ulit mong naamoy ang simoy ng hangin ng nakaraan.... may dapat baguhin at ikaw lamang ang makagagawa noon. Huwag mo palampasin ang ano mang nasa harapan mo ngayon.. iyan ay blessing ng Maykapal."

Naunawaan ko.

Winasak ko na ang balon.. hindi na ako mahuhulog ulit doon.

Sa aking mahal.... salamat sa iyong pagmamahal. Alam kong madalas kitang mainis dahil sa masyado akong malayo kung tumingin at malikot akong mag-isip. At may mga disappointments ka sa skin. Alam kong dahil dito ay gusto mo na akong padalhan ng scud missile at pasabugin ang aking empire kasama na ang aking mga farms !! hahaha.. ngunit salamat sa iyong tyaga, pasensya at pang-unawa. Salamat sa pakikinig sa aking mga drama at komedya. Alam ko kung gaano mo ako kamahal... I know, coz I feel. And I love you more for it.... even so thankful that you came into my life. Thank you for all the cupcakes. Thank you for the 5 cupcakes that awakened me... it is not a mistake, God used you to bring me to my senses, to appreciate what a blessing I have. I know it's not an accident we knew each other...someday the puzzle will fit together. I just want you to know how dear you are to me, whether am away or near. :D

Always You

If there is one thing I cherish in this world right now,

it's not riches,

it's not honor,

it's not fame,

nor glory nor

the attention of the world...

it is you.

I thank God for every morning I wake up

beside you,

for every night I lay down

with you.

I may find all things I dream of,

but what would it mean

without

you?

Oh how I want my wishes come true,

for I dearly want

that I spend my life with you.

to walk each day,

to face each sunset,

to enjoy this life,

nothing else I will ask for.

You just don't know how much

you make me happy.

In spite of so many misunderstandings.

I count them as nothing,

for they don't mean a thing

compared to what I feel

in your presence.

I cherish you

now

and always

in my heart.

and

it will always

be

you !

Introspect

I give this feelings to You,

something I never wanted.

for I know in my spirit only You can help ~

my Lord,

can take and replace.

heal my heart, take away this feeling

of sadness that my being alone in life brings.

instead remove the scales from my eyes

and let me see

and enjoy every moment I have with my loved ones..

that going home to you early be departed from my mind,

just to be at peace,

just to stop thinking,

when will this feeling end.

Help me to enjoy every moment

and never look for things that are not here.

find solace and contentment,

not asking for anything in return,

not looking for what is impossible to be mine.

to understand deeply,

to love unconditionally,

to cherish every moment that is given to me.

I let go...

let go of this madness to You.

I choose to die to myself as I climb into Your presence again,

so I may live again..

alone or not

I live by my name.

Hear my Lord.

Hear oh God.