Careboard: When Relationships Become Boring

#extrajudicial feelings cardboard

Careboard, the opposite of cardboard. This tag describe the victim of a boring relationship resulted from too much caring.

I never known too much caring can cause boredom in relationships.

Caring is an essential ingredient in any relationship. Although there are a number of reasons why one gets bored in a relationship, too much caring is not on the list. Until I saw it in real. So lets add, too much caring as one of the reasons.


When a partner who is not your spouse yet act like

   You can't live without him/her and believe that you too can't live without him/her. (Aww, really?)

   Is always around 24/7, as if his/her house is just a block away.

   Calls and text you every minute, that he/she needs to know what you're doing and where you are
   because he/she cares so much about your safety.

   Calls and text you every hour because he/she misses you every seconds of the day and expects you to reply and respond the same way, and when you don't, you will receive a heartbroken or sad emoticon on your phone, telling you how you hurt his/her feelings. Mind you, may mga lalaki ring ganito.

   Showers you with flowers, food, gifts even without occasion.

   He/she minds to bring you food and even towels or hankies everyday because he/she cares about you getting hungry. (He/She only wants you to get chubby! haha)

   He/she has to be there in your every meeting with friends.

   He/she has to know and meet all your friends because he/she cares about you. ( I don't understand this honestly. )

   He/she is so nice, that he/she is so tolerant about you because he/she thinks that you will break away from you if he/she becomes strict. ( huh?)

  When he's guarding you all the time because he's afraid you'll be kidnapped! (OMG! Are you rich??) Well, at least you have a bodyguard!



If these scenarios are present in your relationship, someone told me, boredom is just three months around the corner.... three months and you're out of his/her life.


So now, we realized that the lack of caring and  overly-caring rip off the relationship of its bliss.

 
 
When you feel you are one meter away from boredom in your relationship, is it an option to leave?
Psychology says, you need to kindle excitement in your relationship. If you are married and boredom crept in your marriage, stepping out is not the answer... rekindling is.



Communicate

Do not underestimate the power of "being honest about one's feelings".
Tell you're bored, but tell also the reasons why you're bored in your relationship without thinking your partner will accept it or not. It is not your problem if he can't understand you now, what matters is you've told him. Given him the chance to think, he will understand later. Remember that there are people who are slow to catch things said upon them. And there are people who care so much about their ego that telling them your disappointment about their behavior is a slap on the face. It's like, "ginawa ko na nga ang lahat, ako pa ang mali???!" Your not new to this statement. You hear this every time.



Find Ways... Discuss Them... Help each Other

Both of you with open minds can pin point turn offs in your relationship, and get rid of them, replacing them with turn on behavior and activities which will make both of you comfortable with each other. Talk about what both of you like and dislike in a commitment. Understanding the reasons behind the negative ones, and move on to positive  and new turn on actions for both of you. If the cause of too much caring is the fear of betrayal, you can help your partner to forgive his past and heal his wounds by your accepting love. You can't instruct him to change his mind or his heart, but you can prove through your loyalty that he need not to fear in your love. It will take time, a long time. But if you're patient enough to wait and be loyal, you will gain his trust and finally let you be you.


Don't forget that a relationship is a tango. Both must work it out and enjoy it.



Give Each Other a Chance ...Try Looking at Each Other's Eyes.

There are couples who end their relationship without any reason, and even without a closure. It is not a good habit to do so because it may lead to a  problem in the future.  If boredom  is just a reason and you have talked about it and discussed about it, then, give yourselves a chance to do things right. By giving yourselves another chance:

 You can save your relationship,
 You learned a valuable lesson you can bring with you to future relationships.
 You give happiness a chance.




To Exit, or Not To Exit.

It is humane to exhaust all efforts to save your relationship before pulling the curtains down, unless your love was also exhausted, don't pull the curtains down. Boredom is just a peck of wood compared to abuse, infidelity, and discrimination. Mix your love with hope if you're just a couple. But if you're married, mix your love with hope and faith. Parang kape, 3-in-one.



I pray things will work out for you.

written under the inspiration
of  the song, " Out of My League"