this poem,RAC,the wedding and me

Do I need to go out to the grounds
to know if the rain is already here?
Do I need to pause for a while
to feel that I"m forgetting something?
Do I have to beg for the time to speed up its hands,
So I could catch up with you in the clouds?

Am I just a dreamer ? or I'm a fool believing?
A wishful thinking? What could I be?
Shall I stop knowing? Shall I cease from waiting?
Shall I stop believing? Something you do not know.

At sunset, the waves return to the sea, the birds to its nests.
The man to his home.
Shall I remain standing here, still believing
For something none of us have ever known.


It's already Alba-a subo!( Wednesday morning). Still awake. My tiredness won't leave me! So I do this blog.

I left Batangas yesterday at 5:30am to go to the RAC of the DSWD in Manila City Hall, to claim 2 Badjaos who were mistaken as beggars in Pier,Manila. They went to the Pier to fetch some relatives from Davao. After showing some documents, they were released to me. Cries, hugs and kisses melted down my hunger and fatigue. They were like little children clinging to my arms as we walked along LRT to the bus station with all eyes on us! My best friend who's with me can't believe that it's happening.

It's part of my work. Am not a social worker. Inside the RAC, I thought, I should have taken that course- Social Work.

After bringing the badjaos to the bus, and made some requests to the bus conductor for them, I asked my friend if we could go to the NSO to authenticate my birth certificate, but the rain came in the way! I thought, perhaps it's not yet time for me to get a license, since it'll take 3 days for the NSO to authenticate a docu. I'll be very late for the filing due of documents for the licensure examination. Surely I'll miss it! So I shifted gear- I'll take my M.A. instead if I will not be enrolled in the mission school this August in Mindanao. And get a license next year! Di naman mukhang magulo, ano? Parang lang!

Am still thinking of our school. Still up to now. Am getting a headache because of it! Now, I can appreciate being an employee. No headaches! You just have to contend with the boss, but when 5pm strikes, you go home and forget about your job, come again tomorrow.

At 8am Salasa (Tuesday), I enrolled to a public school my 13 badjao pupils, all first time in a public school. I, one by one introduced their mothers to the teachers and show where the classrooms are. I hope things will get well the whole school year for them!

By 2pm, I was in a wedding ceremony of 2 young badjaos in the tribe an island away from ours. This is the 2nd badjao wedding I attended. The wedding prelude takes 3 days of non-stop dancing and eating! I was there during the baysanan ( bridal shower & stag party combined). I've never seen so many huge round trays filled with different kinds of bread and the whole tribe's got to eat all the food! I also have never seen such display of jewelries, real gold, worn by the couple, the family and the guests! All guests have to dance the igal, their native dance. And of course, I danced! I received panggi (where other guests put money on your fingers while you dance). There are so many people, all badjaos! The food are not like ours except for the pancit. But they are okay to eat. Besides I need to eat them whether I like it or not. And you have to eat them kamayan! Their culture on acceptance is so sensitive. And I've never experienced such a feeling of being honored as a wedding guest! I like their culture! I like the malong! And the igal dance is regal! They are poor but they have a rich culture! I learned the igal so well, the wearing of malong is something I can't perfect! I can't learn the female waist fold. So I use the male waist fold which always earn a remark from my mom," ano ka lalaki?"

By 5pm, I tried to review words I learned in sinama, (badjao's dialect). And sang some sinama songs so I won't forget the intonations and of course, the words.

By 9pm, I opened my e-mail inbox to check for mails. An e-mail stroke me. It says, "There are 2 women within a woman: one is the socially acceptable woman, and the other is the natural woman. Both in a woman. very few women know this. It is rare to find a woman who can nurture her natural self without hurting her socially acceptable self and keeping it safe.". Hmmmm.

By 11pm, my head spun after knowing and analyzing that I over-withdrawn money from one of the bank accounts of my daddy! My dad yelled on the other side of the broadband, "Ano??!!!".... Ouchh!!!

I have to go to Bulacan today at 5am. Mission? Mangaral ng kapatid na naho homesick kaya umuwi ng Pinas ng walang nakakaalam! (added secret mission: watch Shrek 3. Ha ha ha!)

OMG!! What a day!!

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To those who gave their comments about my blog in teen talk! Thank you very much! Mwah! Mwah! mwah!

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Oh yeah, I finally watched Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End. Sorry to myself, I only understood what the East India Trading is trying to do in the movie. I can't understand the Calypso thing. What does it got to do with the story? I"ve watched all Pirates but I didn't get it! But I can't forget the wedding scene of Elizabeth & Will, and Will becoming the destined captain of the Dutchman....

" Captain forever"

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I sing this love song:

Pakale maka pinaheya. Masulga maka madunya.
Iya kamemon du makaasadya.
P'nno iya sin lasa
M'bal magka pinda,
O'mma kalangan ku, sin lasa nu.

( Oh, let heaven & earth hear, I want everyone to know:
That my love for you never ceases....)

2 mugs of coffee and 6 donuts

It's been another very busy day! I'm a little bit frustrated becoz it's Shrek 3 na, & still I haven't watched Pirates of the Carribean! Grrrrr! When will I have the "time"? I hope the heavens will spare me a day before summer ends in Thursday, bka magkatotoo wish ko, e,I'll be needing a free time.

I'm supposed to sleep early tonight but I can't. It's my 2nd mug of coffee & my 6th donut! I can't help but think about the word, "rejection". Why do some people prefer a kind of person and reject another? Why can't everybody accept everyone not for the sake of love, but for the sake of " being human"?

It hurts to be rejected specially if the reason is as simple as your physical appearance, or your status in life! No wonder why some people tend to lie about who they are! Tend to hide behind a character! Why can't we see the essence of ourselves and other people's? If we do that, then nobody will cry.Nobody will build defense mechanisms.

But still I can't understand.

I learned this from reading the book of John and Romans : " God loved us not because we could love Him, but because we can't. He loved us because it's His choice, and nobody can do something about that. It's better to love without any reason, because if there are reasons why we love someone, if those reasons fail, then we stop loving. Loving someone simply because it's your choice and not because of any reason, last till eternity. You love a person based on yourself not on him or her.... and there is no law againts it.

sorry po for writing this one as parang sermon on the mount.

i wish my summer wish will come true.

After 3 days, I'm back!

Those were tiring days! I spent those days working in the office, not paper works but manual job! Because no male employee in sight! My muscles ache up to now! The massages I got did not suffice!

I missed the Pirates, the dinner date, the malling, and the Rizal Park! Someone blurted out, "hey tsong, wait ka na ng bf mo sa Luneta, buhat ka pa ng buhat ng tables dyan!". (My bf in Luneta is none other than the man who doesn't know how to sit down--- JR... Jose Rizal!). Those pesky jokes just earn from me a laugh! Anyway, I like the park, more than any other park! Because it's big and wide, and near the bay, with a very senti sunset, green grass, fresh air, taho in the evening, and an open heaven! Relaxing... for me. Whenever I'm sick, tired and petitioning God for something, my friend brings me there.

The night before I go, lying on my bed with the t.v. on, a preview of the show, Here Comes the Bride flashed on the screen. I learned it's a competitions for couples about to wed. But the fat bride caught my attention, who's crying out, " bakit ako? ayoko...". I asked the people in the house, "is she a bride?" ( she's wearing a wedding gown!). I blurted out, " huh? bride siya? what do you know...". She's lucky, I thought. She's got a guy and she'll get marry! I wonder what's in her that made her through the isle? I've got beautiful friends, all professionals, but all guy-less!It's not because they shun guys, but because no guy is courting them!

I wonder what female qualities do really men like? Qualities that will click to men that will move them to court a woman? A male friend once said to me with a high tone after asking him if he likes beautiful & sexy ladies: " What will I do with a beautiful face?". That guy is good looking and intelligent... and she loves girls! Aahhh...

It's still a puzzle to me specially when I learned from a survey that the female-male ratio now a days is 8:1 ( 8 females to 1 man!). Napaka swerte ng mga lalaki! No wonder why many women today fall in-love so easily, even with married guys! The world is running out of men! OMG!!! To think of it that most eligible men now are either taken or gay!

I departed from thinking about it! Besides, it's not a problem to me. Ha ha ha ha!

4am, I headed south. And off I go with a promise I'll be back by June 11. My prayer went again, that God will give me a good-looking male seatmate who will not move a bit but only watch the movie on video. Answered prayer! I was able to sleep in the bus!

Something came up to my window : a black butterfly! on a moving bus? Premonition?

I arrived here in Batangas, 10am. After wearing my langit-langit malong ( a malong half-leg lenght pants with tassles and beads on the hemline), off to work I go. A young man yawned as I teach, and said he's tired , got a slam from me, " Kung pagod ka na, ano tawag mo sa akin?!". So I was able to finish my lesson.

Checking on my e-mail and my friendster, my tiredness ran down like water to my legs: Mark is still alive, but still in his " silent" mode, and Jhomar is still pushing for the hamsters to rule! I can't believe myself! nahh!

My phone still rings at 12:40am. Friends checking me out if I"m okay, busy or nagbibisi-bisihan lang, and why am still awake?:

Thank you Lord for my friends who keep me company always, who care, who support, who give me headache as well as tummy ache, and who's always there specially in times like this. Take care of them, Lord and give them long life so all of us will always have fun times together! Amen.

" Looking Up the Picture"

Before I go, my eyes caught my parents' picture near the door of the room. I intentionally nailed it there when I re-arranged the house. Though I put it there, I don't usually look at it, only now... it's my daddy's face which I don't want to look at!

My dad's 60 years old already but he's still able and good looking. Half of my features' from him, specially my chinita eyes. He's strict and perfectionist, a frustrated military man. We had many hard & difficult times, always at odds with each other, that's when I was in college. Nobody can't believe, even my mom that I would be his successor, (because I have 3 brothers). When I accepted this job, which is his job, and work with him, everyone in the family have their fingers crossed! Dad & I have exactly opposite personalities!

But all things worked well with the two of us. I can't believe he has trusted me so much, even with all his personal bank accounts! Maybe because both of us have "grown" with age. Maybe because both of us have realized how "beautiful" each of us is. Maybe because my dad have realized that in most part of my life, I am right. And maybe because I, too have realized that no matter what I do, wherever I may go, he is my dad.

In our family, it's not a practice to say or show expression of love. Concern,yes! But to say it,.... nahhh! ( I've beaten that in my personal life! I express!) ... In this blog, I honestly say, I appreciate my dad! I missed the big guy of our house! I can't help shouting at his picture, where he's smiling so gentle, " daddy, uwi ka na! ( gusto ko magbakasyon!)". Hu hu hu hu! And say to him in our conversation in yahoo messanger that, " miz ya, dad! Uwi ko!". He will just say, "Ok, wala na?". But he posts messages for me everyday in my e-mail !

If ever he will read this, I know what he'll give me..... a pat on my head. no words! But I
say, my daddy is a great father! A lot of people love him! And I miz him.... : )

heat, coffee and wishes

It's a very hot day!! Adding worst to it is the smell of LPG coming from the Shell Refinery nearby!! It's only 5kms away from our community. It's burning petroleum day and night, everyday! It triggered my asthma! I'm so glad I was able to bring my ventolin gun. I pumped 2 shots to my throat, no effect! I can feel the lack of oxygen in my body. I pumped in again another 2 shots. I became "groge", but I was still able to call in my trainees and give them their assignments before I decided to confine myself inside the airconditioned room in the house and rest.( My dad managed to have an aircon here for such a time as this.). I resent this ! I am alone here, its been 3 weeks now since my mom & dad went to Japan...and I feel sick! I have no cooked food in the fridge, all raw, and I can't get off my bed. Worst, am hungry!! I missed my mom! nyah!

I woke up at 2pm. Feeling okay na. Opened the computer and read the blogs of my links! After that, I tried to work on my notes again, and do some reading on Jim Cymbala's book "The Life God Blesses" (The secret of enjoying God's Favor). It's the 2nd book I read written by him. The other one is "Breakthrough Prayer". Both books are so good, timely and real! I did them while having my undying coffee and otap! I bought a can of otap 3 weeks ago. And the coffee... its 3 packs for 3 weeks, all gone now! I bought another one yesterday. Am becoming coffeeholic again drinking 4 to 6 mugs a day! kasalanan ng otap!!

I was able to break away from this coffee and softdrinks for 5 months, I guess. I learned to take choco drinks, milk, yogurt drinks , cereal drinks, juices and sorts to replace coffee. I did for 5 months, but these 3 weeks, the habit came in again! I only noticed it now. I can already hear what Rico, (a friend from Pluto), will yell to me at the phone when he learn am on the "mug" again. (He calls every week just to find out if am continuing on the milk habit. ). Coffee really tastes so good, specially brewed! no milk! It relaxes me! Having coffee under the banana tree, looking at the star- studded sky while thinking about what I have done and said the whole day.... utterring a short "thank you" prayer to God above,.... what more can you ask for in a simple life like this? It's like you have everything already.

Perhaps, that's the only thing I want in life.... a simple life... no complications... no pressures... out of my complicated life.

I'll go to Bulacan by Monday. Be back by Wednesday. I can now go to the dinner invitation I have next week, play R.O.S.E. with Pasaway Sexy, watch Pirates of the Carribean with friends, visit Rizal Park ( sana magawa ko pa.) and do some office works in the school where am connected. Am not a teacher. (defensive!) am often mistaken as one.

My wishes for today: That the Lord will bless my intentions and grant my requests of school supplies for our children in the community, and medicines for the people. That the rain will come on time.

The past days were loaded with work and I have to cope up with the fatigue by sleeping the nights through.

I said it's difficult to work in the midst of people you don't know, who are not of your kind. Though am happy about my work, I also encounter unlikely experiences like not being obeyed when I give commands simply because I'm a woman! Though my friends labeled me as "darna!", my darnatic charm sometimes doesn't work here. Muslims whether ethnic or not, regards women as 'low, lesser sex, nothing", though my commands are for their own good. I was passed by, ignored, as if I am not talking nor existing! Naiyak ako huh! Many vengeful thoughts get into my mind, but the angel on my right said, "think it over!". My ego said, I"d better go home, but my professional side said, " you got commitments, you should finish this job.".

May the good Lord blesses me with a patience as long as the South Luzon Expressway!

I can't hold back my tears, I shut the door of the mission house so no one would know I cried.

I remember a friend who seems to have a link to my mind, he knows if I'm in trouble or not feeling good: he calls up! Asking agad if I"m o.k.

He taught me to express what's exactly in my heart, and say exactly what's in my mind without fear! He taught me to be frank and honest about my feelings. Because women, he said, are not honest about their feelings. Women say the opposite of what's in their mind, so men find it difficult to understand them.

But he's not around. I don't know if he's gone or simply hybernating, soaking himself in the t.v. watching cartoons and listening to symphonies and fulfilling his motto : " my moves are unpredictable!".

I hope he'll call and show up one day! I wish.

A girl friend chat with me, saying she's brokenhearted, and she misses me... my company and my jokes. Hirap daw pala mag-isa! Well I said, "it's true.". And ask me to help her find a replacement, for a serious commitment, to end up her misery and sadness. I said yes and gave her an advice: Go to a mall. Find a seat where you can see everyone. While sitting look at the men passing by you and look particularly at the handsome guys. Look at them as if you're reading a mag. After 30 minutes, you'll find your brain cells alive again! It's a therapy! Your sadness will be lessened. Do it always, and you'll find yourself gotten over your bf!!

Well, believe me, it's effective!!

A friend told us once... Snooky, our dear friend said: If you will fall in-love, don't give your 100%, only 50%. The other 50% is for yourself. So when you break away from each other, you won't end up miserable! You must leave the other 50% to yourself, so you can move on right away after the break up. Remember, she said, you cannot love others if you don't love yourself.

She's right!

Another friend also said : If you will love giving your 100%, the pain will be insurmountable! (lalim!) And in case of break up, and find another one, what more can you give to the new one when you have given it all to the old one? You're already drained of yourself!

He's also right!

Time for a cup of coffee...

Today

Today, is election day! and here goes the "barakos" of batangas who's running for offices, w/ their people in the gates of the precints asking who you voted for? A wrong answer will earn a "uh uh uh!", with their forefingers speaking out " that's bad kid!"

Since we are in a hot spot ( becoz our communities are endorsing a candidate,..secretly.), we devised a way so our votes will be secured ( we hope so!) : my community who knows how to read and write assists the other communities who don't know how, (in-spite of the panananga ng mga teachers sa amin na ayaw papasukin ang mga assists, we insisted, reciting the rules... wala silang nagawa!) and nobody will speak Tagalog or English, kahit ako, we will speak sinama which no tagalog understand, only us!... Well, mine is sinama for beginners!

We also voted solid for mama Vilma S! Magaling naman talaga! and the rest? wala na kaming pakialam, di na namin kayang isulat lahat!! For our people who have such a simple mind and very simple existence on earth, the senatoriables & others are very, very difficult to know and to remember. They don't have time to listen to many campaign jingles, or read posters because they can't read or write, what they care is "sino ang mabait? sino ang pumapansin sa amin?sino ang totoong nakakatulong sa amin?"

After the tiring day, my assists & I passed by SM and did some gaming in Quantum. My students (the assists) were doing well in gaming, and they are no longer ashamed to stroll in SM . Before, they are ashamed becoz the tagalogs looked down on them, and abhor them becoz they were once dirty, filth-smelling beggars, illiterate and very,very poor! But now, our labours have been rewarded, teaching them for 7 years now, they are now literate, no longer beggars but having descent jobs as pearl sellers and the others are employed outside the community. They dressed like us already and have confidence to face other people not of their own kind. Although their culture remains, a lot has been changed! Am praying that the other communities will follow our footstep as I am pioneering the teaching there.

I received a phone call from my best friend's mom asking my status here. If am not sad or homesicked becoz am alone here, and she wanted me to go to Manila and give me a treat this weekend. Phonecalls like this one shatter the sadness of being alone in a strange place where the people are not like you. So am planning to go to Manila before weekend so I could make habol to watch spiderman. But am darn excited to watch The Pirates of the Carribean. And am gonna buy kids' movies for our kids here to watch.

I made-over our house, the mission house, so it will bear my trace. So I could sleep better at night. And most of all to find the toki who's bugging my sleep every 1am in the morning with his sound! Well, my carpenter wannabees found the poor 5 inches toki as if they're hunting for a croc! killed the 5 inches toki with a kris and a broomstik!! hay naku!! Akala ko ba ang lahi ninyo ang pumatay kay Magellan, bakit toki lang para kayong papatay ng giant buwaya?!My laughs!!

( toki - tag. "tuko"; eng.? ewan ko ba, nakalimutan ko na.)

I ended up my day threatening the guy who's bugging me for 2 days now with his frequent but senseless phonecalls, disturbing my work , becoz he has nothing to do! I raise my voice and said, " if only I could reach out my hands to you, I want to squeeze your neck and pound you like a lice! Ang kulit mo!Di ako namimigay ng picture! Di ako artista!". Of course, my students threw me their wide- eyed look.... "bayolente din pala si teacher!"

If only I could say, am waiting for a phonecall from someone I misses a lot, yet not missing me at all!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

It's a busy day & am doing 2 chores at the same time (always like that).Thanks to the people who helped! When my phone rang, someone from Davao del Sur, asking if he could sing me some songs! (what?I can't believe it! who is this??) Well, he said he heard my voice & kinda mesmerized by it! (haba ng hair ko!) And believe it or not, kinantahan nga ako!!! 3 songs pa!! talaga naman!! with accompaniment pa! harana ba ito??

Well, I can't blame him. Di siya nag-iisa! When I worked as an assistant dj to my friend in a local radio station, I got fans mostly men, who paid visits to the station only to exclaimed, "Ikaw si Chai??" Hmmmp......

I watched Shallom Jerusalem from my dad's archive, its a concert. very touching. reviving. I watched it over & over again...

...a song goes like this:


In Your presence, that's where I am strong,
In Your presence, O Lord,my God.
In Your presence,that's where I belong,
Seeking your face, touching your grace,
In the cleft of the rock, in Your presence
O God.


I want to go where the rivers cannot overflow me,
where my feet are on the rock.
I want to hide where the blazing fire cannot burn me....
In Your presence O God.


I want to hide where the flood of evil cannot reach me,
where I'm covered by the blood.
I want to be where the schemes of darkness cannot touch me..
In Your presence O God.




i cried....... hard..........




baruch haba b'shem Adonai.

listening to: I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by aerosmith (my song!)

Been so busy in the past 2 days, but not in the mood,kinda melancholic. Kahit naman siguro sino mapunta sa lugar ko, ganito mararamdaman. It's my 2nd week of being home alone!Hirap kumain mag-isa!The ratio of the people here againts me is 100:1, ako ung 1!

I did some politicking these days, making sure the whole tribe will correctly vote for our bet.Cook jelos for the kids,visit the people and make kumusta, make a hundred bookmarks for the sponsors of the kids, arrange the kids' enrollment to a public school nearby, update my report for the sponsors,train, shovel the sand in-front of our house (sakit ng bicep ko!),do my shopping & do some paperworks for the school which I must send through e-mail.I did all these things melancholically yet perfect!

I only laughed when the school called me up & told me that a "papable" teacher is applying for a position!It was stressed enough that made me blurted out laughing! Honestly I prefer good looking employees,(its just a suggestion to the HRD), because the kids nowadays are naughty, specially in schools.. & the female employees must be inspired to work! ganda ng logic ko, pang nerd!..... and Ram called up, a friend from outerspace!

While working, these things popped up in to my mind: wala lang...
1. You can only be hurt if you allow yourself to be hurt. You can be happy if you want to be.Pain and happiness are both choices.
2. Don't do anything becoz of what other people might think of you. Be in-charge of your life.Destiny is a choice. It's a decision.
3. Don't dwell on your past mistakes. To dwell on it will crash your creativity & you won't be able to move on.
4. Focus on what I want-- should be my mindset!
5. In order to harvest 500 apples, you need to plant 10 apple seeds. To sell a product, you need to talk to 50 clients; and to meet your someone special, you need to meet 1000 acquaintances! Nakakailang acquaintances na ba ako? Ha ha ha ha!
I don't know why I remembered these. I wrote them once in my journal. Madalas ako matisod ngayon mga araw na ito. A friend of mine said," somebody doesn't want you to move on.Somebody's blocking your way & you're sensing it!" Oww!
time to eat watermelons! my favorite fruit! Chow!

I just finished my dinner, & now havin' my dessert. Too early for breakfast!
I went to Manila yesterday to submit a proposal to World Vision Foundation for the people here at 11am, and talked to a bank loan officer in Bulacan at 2:30pm. Once again, I was Darna (w/o a Ding)! I was thinking of playing "Rose", but I changed my mind, instead I dropped by home. My Aunt thought she saw a ghost when I entered the gate, but then on said, "Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito? Bkit ka nandito?Bkit ka umuwi?" I got a big, "Huh?!" in my mind. "Don't you like to see me? Didn't you missed me?"... Nyahh! Drama!
I enjoyed the night with the "ducktrap" & the "meow meow". But my fun was aborted when I saw my hair on the mirror! "This is what I get from believing my hairdresser! I look like a ghost indeed! So I told I'll cut my hair short again....but I wanted a changed image! Can't decide which, I ran a text survey to my friends : "What do you think, shall I cut my hair short or not?Why?" goes my question in my survey, and I got some responses that pricked my mind:
A: " Cguro wag na lang paputol. Isah might get angry." (Isah is Jesus in Islam. correction, di po ako Muslim.) Ano connect?
R: "Wag u paputol,gusto q sa babae mahaba buhok!" ( Halerr!nag-aapply ba akong gf mo & you want me to please your taste? Excuse me!)
R2: "Mas maganda pahabain mo! ("Do u think bagay sa akin?"I asked.) Hindi! Pro mas maganda mahaba! ska pataba u bocing!"- Grrrrrr!!!!
My staff unanimously voted to have my hair cut. They too,thought I was a ghost when they saw me enter my office! But up to now, here in Batangas, still undecided whether I should pay David Salon a visit. But on my way here, while on the Slex ,I was thinking, "Why do men prefer girls to have long hair? What's in the girl's long hair that makes a man? Curious lang.
I was sporting a very short hair for 10 years. Am trying to make it grow long for a change, to soften my "dating". And it's working! But the looks of it is half Gloria Romero and half Elvis Presley!That's why am "napapraning" bout it!
Got my devotions at 9pm, & here again alone, & it's morning already. I'll do some politicking tomorrow, I mean mamaya.And it's raining na here! I wish the rain will wash away the pains in our hearts and make new seeds of love and joy grow from it! I wish the floods to come will bring to us the people whom God has prepared just for us! I wish our prayers will be heard and answered by our loving God so all of us will be happy!

It's a rare day....resting on the middle of the day eating melons! My hands are usually filled with things 2 do like working on handcrafts for the sponsors and friends,cooking soups for the kids out there or reading books and modules for my next teaching time. But today is different, I'm resting! Yehey!
I recently talked w/ my Dad via broadband, saying they'll come home by July pa, savoring their vacation in Japan! OMG!! It's the savings account that 1st flashed to my mind... staying in Batangas is more expensive than staying in Boracay!! Totoo yan!Soaring ang prices ng mga bilihin even services! It's better off in Manila! When it comes to people,maraming magaganda at mga gwapo dito, but with some scent of elitism.You can't blame them, it's their Spanish heritage.But they're friendly naman.
We're preparing for the rainy season..so we've done some construction job to keep the huts strong inspite of the storms to come, plant some veggies and herbs for the community because when rainy days come,pearls are not that in-demand.By the way, the people here live by selling pearls and gathering metals from sunken ships in the bay nearby. And while working, I'm thinking:
1. What else can I do to keep the loneliness of aloneness off bay? I defeated the fear of being in the midst of a muslim ethnic minority known for such and such as that, the fear of not knowing how to swim but frequently travelling by banca & the fear of death, but not that above! I haven't!
2. How can I help Akish pass the Mombusho exam?
3. How will the prophetic utterances I received come to pass in my life?
4. Where are my friends? Have they forgotten me?
5. Where is Mark? Is he ok?
6. my pillow.my bed.my spaghetti tops.my shorts and my school.
end of the line.... am already thinking too much & too many! Perhaps a chocolate ice cream will sooth my mind.....

I travel most of the time. And that's the reason why it's only this time I got into my blog. I frequently make south and north's ends meet.Tiring but it's a time to sit back,on the bus,to think about my life, God & the people that sorrounds me.It's also a time to see places and faces. But it's also a time to test my patience and tolerance, na sa awa ng Lord ay hindi ko maipasa! Specially if the hussle is being a seatmate to a fat lady,whose body shouts like Gengis Khan wanting to invade the rest of the seat, shoving off my slim body with their big thighs!Kulang na lang daganan ako!At pag nag "excuse me po, di po me makahinga.naiipit po ako.", ay di tataasan ka lang ng kilay!(Sarap tusukin ng aspili!) Sana mauso din ang segregation sa mga puv!Kawawa naman ang mga payat!
I arrived in the city here in the South at 6:30pm. So I decided to eat my dinner at SM and did my evening shopping for groceries so I don't need to go back to the city for food when I get to the tribe where I work. And since I am alone, I need to secure my personal needs because it'll take a long time before I get to the city again.
Approaching the place gives me excitement, to see the people, but I also feel the loneliness. As King Solomon puts it," Two are better than one;because they have a good reward for their labor.For if they fall,the one will lift up his fellow;but woe to him who is alone when he fall,for he has not another to help him up."

Think About It?

"Ur sad becoz u can't have d 1 u love...but wat u don't realize is dat smebody is in deeper pain 4 not havin' u." that's a text! and I received it 4x this week from different people while manning a cooking team ! I texted back 3x "wla na bng iba?" I thought of throwing the thought right away, but I paused for a while and kinda think a little deeper: sometimes letting go should not be that painful pala because that might be heaven's way of directing you to the right person who truly owns you! The realization should have brought me relief-- like a light bulb that turned its light on.But no, instead, nainis ako! Nainis ako, kasi bakit ngayon ko lang naisip iyan at bakit ngayon lang dumating ang text na iyan?!!!

It's summer, and summer is suppose to give me fun and excitement because its cool to do a lot of things and meet people on summer time! But it's not! Instead, the heat of the sun and the dry soil activated my allergic rhinitis! It's disgusting to talk to people with a red nose like rudolf!! But one thing is sure that will linger on in my mind this summer which my old friend once told me that, " men are God's gift to women!" Ha ha ha ha!They are wrapped in different and colorful wrappers, and they are nice to look at. : )