There is a change of wind direction in my life...
" Thus saith the Lord the Maker thereof, the Lord that formed it,
to establish it; the Lord is His name:
"Call unto Me, and I will answer thee, and show thee
great and mighty things, which thou knowest not." "
Jeremiah 33:2-3
Friday, December 7, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Excerpts from Sunsets
On Difficult Situations:
Being in a difficult situation calls for a strong determination to control the emotion to be able to do the right thing. But sometimes you can't help it-- you will certainly emote! But no matter how deep the emotion may be, what matters most is how you will gonna spring back to your old sane position, to be able to do the right thing!
Losing A Friend:
Losing a friend is like being amputated of your left hand, specially if you have devoted years letting your friendship grow. The pain cannot be erased specially if the loss is due to some dreams that can't come true. You can't help ask if your friendship was really built on solid ground. But a friendship needs an equal amount of respect to allow your friend to heal, learn and grow so that the tie will remain for future "reference".
Rainbow Connection:
When God first drew the rainbow in the sky, it symbolized His promise that never again will He destroy earth with a flood. When I first saw a rainbow that spoke to my heart, it was night, 9pm. It was a reminder of God's covenant in my life. I saw it again, in the middle of the heavy rain, over my house, two rainbows in perfect arches!
Taming the Fox
Being in a difficult situation calls for a strong determination to control the emotion to be able to do the right thing. But sometimes you can't help it-- you will certainly emote! But no matter how deep the emotion may be, what matters most is how you will gonna spring back to your old sane position, to be able to do the right thing!
Losing A Friend:
Losing a friend is like being amputated of your left hand, specially if you have devoted years letting your friendship grow. The pain cannot be erased specially if the loss is due to some dreams that can't come true. You can't help ask if your friendship was really built on solid ground. But a friendship needs an equal amount of respect to allow your friend to heal, learn and grow so that the tie will remain for future "reference".
Rainbow Connection:
When God first drew the rainbow in the sky, it symbolized His promise that never again will He destroy earth with a flood. When I first saw a rainbow that spoke to my heart, it was night, 9pm. It was a reminder of God's covenant in my life. I saw it again, in the middle of the heavy rain, over my house, two rainbows in perfect arches!
Taming the Fox
I got this from my email: A prince met a fox who's looking for someone to tame him so he could be his friend. The prince doesn't know how to tame a fox, he said he would rather tame his roses. The fox taught the prince how he will tame him, and he said: " You Prince will come to me everyday, sit before me, saying nothing... just look at me and I will look at you in the corner of my eye. And everyday you will sit closer to me. Because words are source of misunderstanding...". Conventional ways of knowing a person sometimes fail. We could say we have stayed with a person for years thinking we already knew him, but it's a sad fact to find out that after all the years, the other person will blurt out, " You didn't know me."! Sometimes, it's much better to follow the fox' way- "tame me", meaning "know me by feeling me!". That's how God knows us all... He knows us by heart not by mind, or else He would not understand our complications.
I wish the person who sent me that email has learned the fox' way. I don't think so, for he/she has failed to "tame" me.... so sad.
Sunsets
It doesn't mean the end of life. It doesn't mean growing old. It doesn't mean things are already done, one has to walk away...
I do my thinking on sunsets. It means a start of my life. It means a new day will come, tomorrow. It means I have to go on and never give up. It means life is beautiful in spite of the many difficult circumstances. It means rest to my weariness. I saw a lot of sunsets in my life, and I thank God for them.
" God has made every thing beautiful in His time...". -Ecclesiastes 3:11
I wish the person who sent me that email has learned the fox' way. I don't think so, for he/she has failed to "tame" me.... so sad.
Sunsets
It doesn't mean the end of life. It doesn't mean growing old. It doesn't mean things are already done, one has to walk away...
I do my thinking on sunsets. It means a start of my life. It means a new day will come, tomorrow. It means I have to go on and never give up. It means life is beautiful in spite of the many difficult circumstances. It means rest to my weariness. I saw a lot of sunsets in my life, and I thank God for them.
" God has made every thing beautiful in His time...". -Ecclesiastes 3:11
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Tired Mind
Walking the pathway of the park this morning, a friend of ours who's running an orphanage for streetkids in Quezon City, suddenly flashed into my mind with her words: " A time will come you will feel tired and alone, and see that all you've been doing is not enough. But no! You just hold on..."
It's been a week that I'm feeling tired and worn out, I wanted to go home to my house in Bulacan! I see that what I'm doing is not enough to create a change in every person's future. I feel am not making it through to all my goals. I love my work, and am happy doing it but sometimes I feel it's just not enough! My frustrations move high whenever a student of mine stop schooling, or stop attending my training classes. I got weak seeing that attitudes don't change from being tribal to being better. Or maybe am just expecting too much?
Schooling in my tribe is not that important. Survival is what matters. Idleness is the name of each day... a short time to work, and a lot of time to sleep and "play". Money and jewelries matters most, its their security. Perseverance and endurance are unknown words here. In our community, the motivation to be educated is high, yet still there are some who gets tired of going to our literacy classes. There are still some potential leaders who gave up my training classes.
There are times I can't stop telling my mom, "sana nag med na lang ako, or itinuloy ko yung pag take ng psychiatry, siguro wala ako dito, baka mayaman na ako!". Sometimes I also tell her, " You're not feeling the same way I do kasi nandyan si Dadi, malakas suportahan nyong dalawa." Which I guess also reached my Dad's knowledge.
Organizing my thoughts, I don't know where to start to energize my self-motivation and my zealousness to go on with my work. I feel alone in this field and neglected. Remembering our friend's word,"... but no! You just hold on!", a question popped out of my mind, " to what?". Oh my!!
In spite of my tiredness, I still was able to count on the learnings I got from Eicher. I"m trying to use those learnings to simplify my situation. Well, I learned from him that:
1. God loves me so much love I never knew before.
2. That life is simple and its beautiful. Our beliefs and attitudes make life complicated.
3. Maging simple lang ako, mas madaling makarelate sa lahat ng tao kapag simple ka lang. Sanay kang magchopstick, sanay ka ding mag silverwares, sanay ka ding mag kamay, kumain ala construction worker at kumain ala socialite! Flexible ika nga.
4. We all have a choice.
Huuuu!!! At marami pang iba, na di ko alam ipaliwanag pero kaya kong gawin.
Well I guess, I have no choice but to go on.
It's been a week that I'm feeling tired and worn out, I wanted to go home to my house in Bulacan! I see that what I'm doing is not enough to create a change in every person's future. I feel am not making it through to all my goals. I love my work, and am happy doing it but sometimes I feel it's just not enough! My frustrations move high whenever a student of mine stop schooling, or stop attending my training classes. I got weak seeing that attitudes don't change from being tribal to being better. Or maybe am just expecting too much?
Schooling in my tribe is not that important. Survival is what matters. Idleness is the name of each day... a short time to work, and a lot of time to sleep and "play". Money and jewelries matters most, its their security. Perseverance and endurance are unknown words here. In our community, the motivation to be educated is high, yet still there are some who gets tired of going to our literacy classes. There are still some potential leaders who gave up my training classes.
There are times I can't stop telling my mom, "sana nag med na lang ako, or itinuloy ko yung pag take ng psychiatry, siguro wala ako dito, baka mayaman na ako!". Sometimes I also tell her, " You're not feeling the same way I do kasi nandyan si Dadi, malakas suportahan nyong dalawa." Which I guess also reached my Dad's knowledge.
Organizing my thoughts, I don't know where to start to energize my self-motivation and my zealousness to go on with my work. I feel alone in this field and neglected. Remembering our friend's word,"... but no! You just hold on!", a question popped out of my mind, " to what?". Oh my!!
In spite of my tiredness, I still was able to count on the learnings I got from Eicher. I"m trying to use those learnings to simplify my situation. Well, I learned from him that:
1. God loves me so much love I never knew before.
2. That life is simple and its beautiful. Our beliefs and attitudes make life complicated.
3. Maging simple lang ako, mas madaling makarelate sa lahat ng tao kapag simple ka lang. Sanay kang magchopstick, sanay ka ding mag silverwares, sanay ka ding mag kamay, kumain ala construction worker at kumain ala socialite! Flexible ika nga.
4. We all have a choice.
Huuuu!!! At marami pang iba, na di ko alam ipaliwanag pero kaya kong gawin.
Well I guess, I have no choice but to go on.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Looking Back...Passing By
Running errand for my mother in the city... as usual, naligaw ulit ako. I just can't memorize the route of jeepneys in the city. Instead of reaching SM in Pallocan West, I went as far as Alangilan. Sensing the way was wrong, I alighted from the jeep. There goes me... I decided to walk back to the right way.
I passed by the capitolio... I wondered when will I be able to get inside the Gov. Vi's office? The same way I did in Bulacan's governor's office.
I stepped onto fallen calachuchi flowers along the sidewalk... hmmm the scent! It brings back to my memory our old log house in Valenzuela City, when I was in high school. Sitting on top of our cemented fence, I would watch kids of my age play on the road. I couldn't join because of my RHD! That RHD of mine have wasted my youth! So glad I am out of it!
Passing by a fire tree with lots of flowers.... Oh gee, this tree reminds me of my birthday. Fire trees peaked its flowering in summer! Uhhhh, I love summer! The flowers, the heat, the opportunities summer may bring. Summer always, since I was young, brings me a lot of opportunities and memories. If some people get excited about Christmas, I get excited when summer draws near. Christmas brings me tears because of some unlikely memories, and tension because of gastusin! The "inaanaks" huh! Di pa naman ako sanay magtago, I love being caught and kissed by the hand saying, " Mano po ninang! Ehem, regalo ko!".
Fire trees rekindle the memories of my birthday, vacation and some good people in my life I met in the past who in some way and so short period of time have made me happy.
I finally made it to the right way. Riding the jeep to SM, I can smell the scent of the rain. May amoy pala ang ulan... at siyempre malamig ang pakiramdam. It was a cool scent. I remembered a song I heard:
" God will make a way whether seems to be no way,
He works in ways we cannot see..."
I read that as a verse in Isaiah where God told to His people in their impossible times that He will make a way in the desert.
Because I did face some difficult situations.
Reaching my destination, I felt relief after a long trip.
Time to play Time Crisis!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Ours is Like This
For you have come unexpectedly in the day
I did not know I will be asked to
let go of my solitary beliefs;
During the heat of summer,
When I was so busy tending my father's flock.
It was after my prayer:
"Look not upon me O Lord because I am black,
because the sun has looked upon me;
My mother's children were angry with me;
They made me the keeper of their vineyards,
but my own vineyard have I not kept." ( Songs 1:5-6)
It was also after the Lord spoke to me,
that He's beginning to make a great change
in my life.
After I have learned to play R.O.S.E., basketball
and Time Crisis.
Who will say that I will have the courage
To cross boundaries and bridges I've never crossed before?
To break the tradition I hold dear in my life?
That is when after I have known you!
There was no sad moment with you.
There was no tiring minute with you.
Each is a piece of good memory,
I wish I could compile in a scrapbook.
But no! It should be posted in our hearts,
And in our minds.. so they won't fade away.
Ours is a sun after a very long rain!
A strike of light in a very dark place.
A laughter in the midst of gloom and dreary,
A pause after a very long conversation.
If I will be asked to describe you-
I would say,
You are a flowing stream
Whose tranquil water brings calmness and peace
To my soul.
A gentle breeze that embraces me
When I sleep,
Bringing me pleasant dreams!
Who would forget you, Eicher?
They may forget you but not I!
I will hold you dear here,
In my heart.
Though we're miles apart,
Nothing has changed.
It's as if it's always the beginning,
And end is far away!
I thank God for sending you in my life,
I may not know how long we'll going to travel
Together in this road of ours,
But I am so happy and thankful,
That once in my life,
I was given the chance to be with
You
And know that life is more beautiful
Than what I have thought it is.
In the middle of our laughs
Sometimes you say my eyes are sad...
It's because I do not want end to come
In our happiness.
I did not know I will be asked to
let go of my solitary beliefs;
During the heat of summer,
When I was so busy tending my father's flock.
It was after my prayer:
"Look not upon me O Lord because I am black,
because the sun has looked upon me;
My mother's children were angry with me;
They made me the keeper of their vineyards,
but my own vineyard have I not kept." ( Songs 1:5-6)
It was also after the Lord spoke to me,
that He's beginning to make a great change
in my life.
After I have learned to play R.O.S.E., basketball
and Time Crisis.
Who will say that I will have the courage
To cross boundaries and bridges I've never crossed before?
To break the tradition I hold dear in my life?
That is when after I have known you!
There was no sad moment with you.
There was no tiring minute with you.
Each is a piece of good memory,
I wish I could compile in a scrapbook.
But no! It should be posted in our hearts,
And in our minds.. so they won't fade away.
Ours is a sun after a very long rain!
A strike of light in a very dark place.
A laughter in the midst of gloom and dreary,
A pause after a very long conversation.
If I will be asked to describe you-
I would say,
You are a flowing stream
Whose tranquil water brings calmness and peace
To my soul.
A gentle breeze that embraces me
When I sleep,
Bringing me pleasant dreams!
Who would forget you, Eicher?
They may forget you but not I!
I will hold you dear here,
In my heart.
Though we're miles apart,
Nothing has changed.
It's as if it's always the beginning,
And end is far away!
I thank God for sending you in my life,
I may not know how long we'll going to travel
Together in this road of ours,
But I am so happy and thankful,
That once in my life,
I was given the chance to be with
You
And know that life is more beautiful
Than what I have thought it is.
In the middle of our laughs
Sometimes you say my eyes are sad...
It's because I do not want end to come
In our happiness.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
D Problem wid Rapid Manifestation Wei...
I've studied Rapid Manifestation by Dr. Anthony Roberts, a downloaded article from the internet (Secrets of the Mind Masters). I've read it thoroughly and I could say its a truth that will help a person in a lot of ways, specially in finances and success. It's the same principle as that of the Bible about our minds in Romans, " Be ye transformed by the renewing of your minds..."
Yeah, it's about our minds! It's about how our emotions are transmitted to our environment and thus afffect also the outcome of things in our lives. It's what you fear the most that happen. It's not just having a positive mind but a hygienic mind that influence our actions, our sorrounding and our course of life!
It's effective! I can attest to that! In my finances, in my transactions and to my workplaces. But I never thought it will also be effective in healing a broke heart or a heart in pain!
Yeah it did! I was forced to move on within two weeks from an indespaired relationship! E sino kayang tao ang makagagawa nun? Two weeks end and nothing happened... I tried Rapid Manifestation! It worked! Within less than a month I was able to move on... minus the pain!
Sad memories? Nahh!! Gone!! Ha ha ha ha!
Now I got "long hair" and wide smiles,... laughters too!
Now, the person who broke up with me and learned that I used the technique wants me to undo it because he wanted to "return" to my world. The problem with Rapid Manifestation when you used it to pain, it totally delete all files of pain and feelings... how will you recover something from nothing? It's impossible!! This is something he cannot understand. The saddest thing about it is: he is the one who introduced me to the principle because he was so tired and irritated seeing me so quietly in pain before!
I recommend Rapid Manifestation to those who wanted to make a 360 degrees moving on!!
So you can also sing " Time In" with me!! ha ha ha ha ( luma na kanta pero swak pa rin!)
with the last line that goes....
"Akin and sandali,
Ako ang reyna ng gabi!" : )
Yeah, it's about our minds! It's about how our emotions are transmitted to our environment and thus afffect also the outcome of things in our lives. It's what you fear the most that happen. It's not just having a positive mind but a hygienic mind that influence our actions, our sorrounding and our course of life!
It's effective! I can attest to that! In my finances, in my transactions and to my workplaces. But I never thought it will also be effective in healing a broke heart or a heart in pain!
Yeah it did! I was forced to move on within two weeks from an indespaired relationship! E sino kayang tao ang makagagawa nun? Two weeks end and nothing happened... I tried Rapid Manifestation! It worked! Within less than a month I was able to move on... minus the pain!
Sad memories? Nahh!! Gone!! Ha ha ha ha!
Now I got "long hair" and wide smiles,... laughters too!
Now, the person who broke up with me and learned that I used the technique wants me to undo it because he wanted to "return" to my world. The problem with Rapid Manifestation when you used it to pain, it totally delete all files of pain and feelings... how will you recover something from nothing? It's impossible!! This is something he cannot understand. The saddest thing about it is: he is the one who introduced me to the principle because he was so tired and irritated seeing me so quietly in pain before!
I recommend Rapid Manifestation to those who wanted to make a 360 degrees moving on!!
So you can also sing " Time In" with me!! ha ha ha ha ( luma na kanta pero swak pa rin!)
with the last line that goes....
"Akin and sandali,
Ako ang reyna ng gabi!" : )
Friday, September 14, 2007
Touched by God's Word
" For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and return not thither, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
So shall My word that go forth out of My mouth, it shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing thereto I sent it.
For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace..."
Isaiah 55:10-12
" And behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places where thou go, and will bring thee again in this land; for I will not leave thee until I have done that which I have spoken of thee of."
Genesis 28:15
" When you pass through the waters, I will be with You. said the Lord.
Fear not, for I am with you."
Isaiah 43: 2-5
These words came in the time so needful of His assurance. I received the first and 2nd ones during my time of reflection, and the 3nd one through a text from a student of mine.
So my strenght and my endurance continue.
My praise be unto Him, Yeshua T' Adonai !!
note: Yeshua T' Adonai- Hebrew " Jesus Our God"
So shall My word that go forth out of My mouth, it shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing thereto I sent it.
For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace..."
Isaiah 55:10-12
" And behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places where thou go, and will bring thee again in this land; for I will not leave thee until I have done that which I have spoken of thee of."
Genesis 28:15
" When you pass through the waters, I will be with You. said the Lord.
Fear not, for I am with you."
Isaiah 43: 2-5
These words came in the time so needful of His assurance. I received the first and 2nd ones during my time of reflection, and the 3nd one through a text from a student of mine.
So my strenght and my endurance continue.
My praise be unto Him, Yeshua T' Adonai !!
note: Yeshua T' Adonai- Hebrew " Jesus Our God"
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I am A PK !
I belong to a circle of kids around the world known as the PKs. We're millions now though, and each of us like the rest of the kids out there, are unique in many different ways. But I don't like to speak about its uniqueness. I'd like to speak about what we sometimes think and feel which none of the people out there, including our parents, know and care to know.
Since this blog is about " talkative mind"... perhaps reading this is the only best way to do. I thought about this write up when I attended a seminar on Values Plus II Last Saturday. I shook hands with the guest speaker and she recognized instantly with a blurt, " Oh, you're a PK! So am I! We belong to the same circle! Ha ha ha!"
PK means " Preacher's Kid"! I guess, you already know where am heading to. Well, I'm not only a PK, am also a MK (Missionary Kid)!! And in our family, all my nieces and nephews, cousins and relatives in the 2nd to the 4th generations are all PKs!!
Is it hard to be one? How does life being one goes? Do we share feelings and encounters like other kids whose parents are not like ours? And many more questions.. unendless questions.
Our parents are popular. People see them in television, in the streets, hear them on radios, involved in politics, in education, in all areas of the society. They have networking groups, associations and even corporations! If other kids have their parents working at day and can only be seen at night, our parents are working on call 24/7 everyday! For MK's, their parents are absent from home most of the time, mostly weeks and months! For tribal missionaries like me, sometimes it takes years to be far away from home! Grabe di ba? That's why MK's go with their parents wherever they go.
We kids live in the back of the limelight. We are expected to behave according to the norms. We are expected to live up with the biblical principles. We, like other people in this creation also needs to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ! Our parents salvation is not transferrable to us their kids. And in the future, when we grow up, we are being expected to be called by God in His service following the footsteps of our parents. We bear in our shoulders the big obligation to tell others about Jesus, His love for us His creation, and His sacrifice just to pay for the sins of every individual on earth. To tell them that God has provided all of us the deep meaning of our existence.
We feel the same way like other kids do. We have the same fears and struggles, only we do not have " our own will". And its so hard sometimes! But as to the grace and favor from the Almighty... we're so rich of it!!
Well I guess, I have to go now... work calling! Chow!
Since this blog is about " talkative mind"... perhaps reading this is the only best way to do. I thought about this write up when I attended a seminar on Values Plus II Last Saturday. I shook hands with the guest speaker and she recognized instantly with a blurt, " Oh, you're a PK! So am I! We belong to the same circle! Ha ha ha!"
PK means " Preacher's Kid"! I guess, you already know where am heading to. Well, I'm not only a PK, am also a MK (Missionary Kid)!! And in our family, all my nieces and nephews, cousins and relatives in the 2nd to the 4th generations are all PKs!!
Is it hard to be one? How does life being one goes? Do we share feelings and encounters like other kids whose parents are not like ours? And many more questions.. unendless questions.
Our parents are popular. People see them in television, in the streets, hear them on radios, involved in politics, in education, in all areas of the society. They have networking groups, associations and even corporations! If other kids have their parents working at day and can only be seen at night, our parents are working on call 24/7 everyday! For MK's, their parents are absent from home most of the time, mostly weeks and months! For tribal missionaries like me, sometimes it takes years to be far away from home! Grabe di ba? That's why MK's go with their parents wherever they go.
We kids live in the back of the limelight. We are expected to behave according to the norms. We are expected to live up with the biblical principles. We, like other people in this creation also needs to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ! Our parents salvation is not transferrable to us their kids. And in the future, when we grow up, we are being expected to be called by God in His service following the footsteps of our parents. We bear in our shoulders the big obligation to tell others about Jesus, His love for us His creation, and His sacrifice just to pay for the sins of every individual on earth. To tell them that God has provided all of us the deep meaning of our existence.
We feel the same way like other kids do. We have the same fears and struggles, only we do not have " our own will". And its so hard sometimes! But as to the grace and favor from the Almighty... we're so rich of it!!
Well I guess, I have to go now... work calling! Chow!
Monday, September 3, 2007
A Love Story at Iba pa...
Back to Batangas...
the Badjawan where I belong.
.... peace and quiet after a heartbreaking and mindcrushing week in
Bulacan:
"they lighten up my day. they always take my breath away."
"eunice, gemma, me, arlene & ruth...we work together everyday.
kilawing mangga session is fun with them."
Before I went here, my friend & I decided to watch " A Love Story", the movie of Aga Muchlach, Maricel Soriano and Angelika Panganiban. Watching it was actually a lambing from my friend who, like me, has a necksized stress from work.
There we go. The theme song, "Tell Me" gives an additional touching effect. It was my third time to watch a love story. The 1st was the movie also of Aga & the wife of Diether Ocampo, (Oh my gosh! I can't remember the title! This could be the effect of my 80/60 blood pressure!); and the 2nd one was Eternity. Both were good movies, (fighting for love), in my taste. But this one is different. Its a love triangle!
The writer was good, making us think that the other woman was the younger one... which is the usual happening. But no! the other woman is the older one, which according to the ad, (that caught my interest that's why I watched it) : " What will happen if the right woman is the other woman?". Kaiba di ba?
Long before the movie highlighted, I wanted to go home na! Because I"m hearing some sobs! Because its malungkot! And I already predicted that the right woman which is the other woman will give way, and I was right!!! Iiiihh! the pain, the tears, the pleadings between the man and the other woman.... Filipino concept! Di ba pwedeng ibahin? ha ha ha ha! Hey, most of us who watched it are women! Only a handful men were there, usually dates!
But I also know of a love story. Not so rare, I suppose, that ended up into nothing after so many years, because of kawalan ng pagpapahalaga. When the woman, free and everything, met a man who made her happy, the previous man realized how important to him the woman is... so he's done all his best to win back the woman, but to no avail! No amount of tears, force and pleadings made her come back!
Lessons in Life: Always appreciate what is here. You may not know its value but it's God's gift to you! Love it while it's here, so that when it's gone, you'll be thankful to God that you did not waste any time loving and appreciating it... there'll be good memories left in your pockets!
Thank you Lord for this gift of life! For making my hair long andmy smiles longer!! Ha ha ha!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Courageous Me!
Slow update!
1. I got myself almost drowned when I, with my companions, forcefully crossed the batangas inlet with a banca making sagwan, in the middle of the storm... big waves, furious wind, during the height of typhoon Egay, hitting our small banca, tossing it angrily!! Ganun cguro ang feeling ng mga Titanic passengers before it sank!
In my mind, I only called out two persons: Jesus and Eicher!
.... all of these, in the call of duty and love for my work!
2. My getting soaked wet in the storm made me sick. But I need to go back to Bulacan for some work matters which unfortunately kahit anong gawin q, di ko matapos-tapos ang trabaho!
3. Enjoying the last day with Eicher cruising Quezon City and Makati, on motorbike! Finally beating my fear of speed and getting crushed! It was a pleasurable, and adventurous rendevouz!
i wish i could answer all the questions in your mind,
on how our future might be.
i wish i could be a solution to your multiple problems,
so you don't need to go away.
1. I got myself almost drowned when I, with my companions, forcefully crossed the batangas inlet with a banca making sagwan, in the middle of the storm... big waves, furious wind, during the height of typhoon Egay, hitting our small banca, tossing it angrily!! Ganun cguro ang feeling ng mga Titanic passengers before it sank!
In my mind, I only called out two persons: Jesus and Eicher!
.... all of these, in the call of duty and love for my work!
2. My getting soaked wet in the storm made me sick. But I need to go back to Bulacan for some work matters which unfortunately kahit anong gawin q, di ko matapos-tapos ang trabaho!
3. Enjoying the last day with Eicher cruising Quezon City and Makati, on motorbike! Finally beating my fear of speed and getting crushed! It was a pleasurable, and adventurous rendevouz!
i wish i could answer all the questions in your mind,
on how our future might be.
i wish i could be a solution to your multiple problems,
so you don't need to go away.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Lot's of Things
Many things happened while I was away from this blog.
It was a very long time...
But lots of things came in:
1. I finally got my own Badjao house. It's a green, 2 storey bamboo house with a terrace where you can see the fields afar, the mountains and the dirt road leading to the highway! You can stargaze every night. It's as if you're so close to the clouds! Ganun! It has its odd badjao staircase, windows and no door (just openings)! Nyah! I hang my curtains, lots of them! Muslim style! (This pic was before I fixed the things in the house.)
2. Got my share of laughters and tears! Teaching my lessons....
Life really is so simple. Complication is only in the mind. We can make things simple by learning appreciation and a little bit of understanding.
3. ... and dancing the igal!
that's how we celebrate in the tribe! Even simple things can be a source of great joy! You will know the meaning of life when you spend even a bit of your life among the ethnic tribes! You will realize that you are so blessed by God!
I was here only last September 2006, and I could say... it's wonderful to live here!
a. The "exotic" food-- grabe!
b. the baysanan ( wedding shower)--- luxurious! Go there with your malong and dance barefooted!
c. the people, with their hugs and greetings! ay naku! challenging yet warm! E kasi love nila aq!
d. the dialect, " sinama"-- tounge twisting to! Counting is the most difficult to learn!
e. the people's faith-- moving heaven!
f. the tribal leaders? vibes kami lahat!
g. most of all, my life here got me the promise of God came true!... and I also met Eicher here who added pleats to my curtains! ha ha ha ha!
Sa susunod ulit....
Friday, July 20, 2007
If You Think...
someone said I should be ashamed about my posts
in this blog....
in this blog....
This is my blog, and i write my thoughts here
about the things that i encounter, where there are lessons to learn.
Sometimes, just my happy experiences are posted here.
Just to share.
Should i be ashamed of my thoughts?
Should i be ashamed of my happy moments?
No! That could be pretentious!
Why post them?
So you will know what's in my mind,...while am working
with my hands.
So you will know me better.
At least 50% of who I am.
Yap, 50%!
Why you need to know me?
Because I know I'm a beautiful person,
not just to look at...
(And I like you to know things that i learn too.)
But the trouble is
You don't want to see inside my mind
so you will know how beautiful i am,
so you will also know how good you are!
Life is beautiful!
We have to appreciate it
if we want to grow old gracefully.
(",) ('-')
Thursday, July 19, 2007
After All
I'm back after 3 days of "vacation" in Bulacan. I feel so good moving alone, without pressure, without anything that might curve my mood!
I got this so happy day! But in every sun that shine, there will always arise a rain cloud! Shukks! Spoiled my day!
All I have said was, " I need space!".
It's an alien word to me, but for the first time I crave for it!
I have my share of spolied day! But its so nice to have someone beside you to tell you, " Don't mind it. Be strong! Think about only the good things that has happened to you!"
Yeah, he's right!
And I felt good!
I have learned a lot this day.
1. To be unmoveable, you need to have a lot of guts to stand on what you believe is right and hold on to it until the result that you want is realized!
2. "Today, I am alive, and the whole world is mine."
3. Love is a choice.
eicher,
thank you for being there.
I got this so happy day! But in every sun that shine, there will always arise a rain cloud! Shukks! Spoiled my day!
All I have said was, " I need space!".
It's an alien word to me, but for the first time I crave for it!
I have my share of spolied day! But its so nice to have someone beside you to tell you, " Don't mind it. Be strong! Think about only the good things that has happened to you!"
Yeah, he's right!
And I felt good!
I have learned a lot this day.
1. To be unmoveable, you need to have a lot of guts to stand on what you believe is right and hold on to it until the result that you want is realized!
2. "Today, I am alive, and the whole world is mine."
3. Love is a choice.
eicher,
thank you for being there.
"Spacey space"
I need space right now.
We need space in order to grow. To rethink about the things we should have thought before.
We need space to move freely, to explore the things around us, and learn how every living and non-living thing " came about".
We need space to be alone. To realize, to gain wisdom.
We need space to be us. To be truly us.
Does space hurt?
Not it doesn't.
But it will if we fail to understand what it is for.
Does it has its limits?
I don't think so.
It is healthy.
It is fine.
No need to fear.
No need to worry.
"sometimes i run. sometimes i cry.
sometimes i'm scared of you.
but all i really want is to hold you tight..."
Sunday, July 15, 2007
There is a time for everything
It's Sunday afternoon, taking a short break from my very hectic day.... "ang hirap talaga ng nag-iisa." quote of one of my female friends. " Ay, Oo!" sabi ko naman, "...sanayan lang 'yan!". Sanayan nga lang, ngunit nararamdaman ko ang katotohanan ng sinabi ng aking kaibigan! Hay yay yay!!
" Kumusta ka, wonder woman?", my friend greeted. "Pwede ba Darna na lang? Masyado akong maganda para maging Wonder Woman!!", my reply.... just a joke!!! yeah, to curve away my tiredness.
I can't wait for Monday! Sana Monday na ngayon! I will go home and see my loved ones and friends, watch Harry Potter, ( sus, sana abutan ko pa!), see eicher, and tuck my head onto my favorite pillow the whole day. Eat my favorite foods with my meow and pingu! Scare all the people in our compound for 1 day, greet all the tinderas in the palengke on Wednesday morning, not to buy, just to see and greet them! Weird? (Well, someone has to know me better). Finish my painting on our wall... that's right! If still I can, see Jose Rizal before I return to Batangas, ang lupain ng mga matatapang at.....( ehem)! But I have to change attire by Tuesday, put on my corporate dress and be a boss for one day in our company!!! Ano'ng klaseng bakasyon 'yan? Trabaho din? Pwede bang wag na lang akong pumasok? Pwede bang ibang tao na lang muna ang mag-intindi ng mga problema para sa akin? I am shaking by merely seeing the gate of my workplace! My gosh, buti na lang wala akong alta presyon! Kung hindi, natsugi na ang beauty ko noon pa man! Iwanan ka ba namang mag-isa ng mga matatapang mong kasama sa industriya at ipataw lahat sa balikat mo ang lahat ng problema at alalahanin ng kumpanyang yan, at pag may palpak ay kagagaling na sabihing, " bocing, you made a wrong decision! You should have done it this way... or that way!". Huh? Kaya minsan di nila ako masisi na isnabin ko ang mga kagwapuhan at kautakan nila! At kung minsan, di nila ako masisi na I spend an hour or two at starmart instead of talking to them! At kung minsan, di nila ako mapigil na isiping isang araw, mas gusto kong maglagi sa lugar ng mga katutubo, sa lahat ng parte ng Pilipinas, kaysa pumasok sa aking opisina! You know, a bit of encouragement for people like me, helps a lot to keep us going!
Sometimes, I would like to go some places, away from all my works and know again the meaning of the word, " serenity". I"d like to grow old gracefully. I'd like to see myself in the future sitting on a beach with someone before a sunset. My gosh! I can't do that if I will kill myself working almost 24 hours a day! But job calls.... hu hu hu! Nah, but am damn happy at my work in the tribe! So ano'ng inirereklamo ko? Wala lang, sobra lang akong pagod! Na sa sobrang ka bisihan at kapaguran ko ay nalilimutan kong batiin at alalahanin ang dapat kong alalahanin at batiin!! Ay, ang gulo!
I don't like it this way. I'd like to have time. Time for myself, time for my loved ones, time to see and feel that life is an experience to enjoy and appreciate, it doesn't matter if it's raining or shining! But I think, having time is also a matter of choice!
"I'd like to see the forever in your eyes!"
(kainis, napaka sentimental ko ngayon!)
" Kumusta ka, wonder woman?", my friend greeted. "Pwede ba Darna na lang? Masyado akong maganda para maging Wonder Woman!!", my reply.... just a joke!!! yeah, to curve away my tiredness.
I can't wait for Monday! Sana Monday na ngayon! I will go home and see my loved ones and friends, watch Harry Potter, ( sus, sana abutan ko pa!), see eicher, and tuck my head onto my favorite pillow the whole day. Eat my favorite foods with my meow and pingu! Scare all the people in our compound for 1 day, greet all the tinderas in the palengke on Wednesday morning, not to buy, just to see and greet them! Weird? (Well, someone has to know me better). Finish my painting on our wall... that's right! If still I can, see Jose Rizal before I return to Batangas, ang lupain ng mga matatapang at.....( ehem)! But I have to change attire by Tuesday, put on my corporate dress and be a boss for one day in our company!!! Ano'ng klaseng bakasyon 'yan? Trabaho din? Pwede bang wag na lang akong pumasok? Pwede bang ibang tao na lang muna ang mag-intindi ng mga problema para sa akin? I am shaking by merely seeing the gate of my workplace! My gosh, buti na lang wala akong alta presyon! Kung hindi, natsugi na ang beauty ko noon pa man! Iwanan ka ba namang mag-isa ng mga matatapang mong kasama sa industriya at ipataw lahat sa balikat mo ang lahat ng problema at alalahanin ng kumpanyang yan, at pag may palpak ay kagagaling na sabihing, " bocing, you made a wrong decision! You should have done it this way... or that way!". Huh? Kaya minsan di nila ako masisi na isnabin ko ang mga kagwapuhan at kautakan nila! At kung minsan, di nila ako masisi na I spend an hour or two at starmart instead of talking to them! At kung minsan, di nila ako mapigil na isiping isang araw, mas gusto kong maglagi sa lugar ng mga katutubo, sa lahat ng parte ng Pilipinas, kaysa pumasok sa aking opisina! You know, a bit of encouragement for people like me, helps a lot to keep us going!
Sometimes, I would like to go some places, away from all my works and know again the meaning of the word, " serenity". I"d like to grow old gracefully. I'd like to see myself in the future sitting on a beach with someone before a sunset. My gosh! I can't do that if I will kill myself working almost 24 hours a day! But job calls.... hu hu hu! Nah, but am damn happy at my work in the tribe! So ano'ng inirereklamo ko? Wala lang, sobra lang akong pagod! Na sa sobrang ka bisihan at kapaguran ko ay nalilimutan kong batiin at alalahanin ang dapat kong alalahanin at batiin!! Ay, ang gulo!
I don't like it this way. I'd like to have time. Time for myself, time for my loved ones, time to see and feel that life is an experience to enjoy and appreciate, it doesn't matter if it's raining or shining! But I think, having time is also a matter of choice!
"I'd like to see the forever in your eyes!"
(kainis, napaka sentimental ko ngayon!)
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Rainy Days... Starless Nights yet Bright Nights
" Raindrops are the bravest things God ever created... know why?
coz they're never afraid to fall!"
... so the text I recieved goes.
Some time, I wish was a raindrop. Not afraid to fall!
I did fail, a lot of times! The common feeling? It hurts!
People are afraid of falling because it hurts!
Am I afraid to fall? Yeah, I was. But not anymore!
I realized that sometimes to fall is good for your "health", and falling in many ways in many areas in our life is innevitable specially since our nature is vulnerable to you know what.
Happiness is real and life is true when we have fallen. Because you knew what it is to be human.
(Hayyy!!! Ano bang sinasabi ko? I have become too serious.)
God has been so good to me. He has His little ways of putting back the smiles on my face!
I got a little anxious yesterday. I remembered some thoughts that I realized was not yet settled in my mind. Triggered, it caused me a deep sadness.
Though it was raining, I went to the city to do some mailing... the rain, for the first became good on my skin! On my way to SM Batangas, a cute little boy sat beside me. While we talk, it's as if God was talking to me, telling me, "I'm with you. Don't be afraid."
I did some archading. I enjoyed "Time Crisis", breaking away from my stresses. For every bullet that I shot in levelling up goes down to my anxiousness, and my sadness. There goes the walls!! Timbering!!
I walked home, instead of riding. The mountains were partly covered with rain clouds. They're beautiful, with the rain clouds! I can hear the still small voice of God in my heart, "Who told you to be afraid? Who told you, you will walk alone in this one? Didn't I tell you I will walk with you through this one?".
Peace.
I bowed before Isa Almasih (Jesus Christ) when I reached the village. A solemn serenity enveloping the worship place. I can almost feel the smile on His face, as He always do every time I bow before Him. " I will be with you when you go through this one. We will walk together."
Enough has been said.
" You are forever in my life.
You see me through the seasons.
Cover me with your hand.
And lead me in your righteousness...
And I look to You.
And I wait on you."
I want to go on a hundred miles from here. = )
coz they're never afraid to fall!"
... so the text I recieved goes.
Some time, I wish was a raindrop. Not afraid to fall!
I did fail, a lot of times! The common feeling? It hurts!
People are afraid of falling because it hurts!
Am I afraid to fall? Yeah, I was. But not anymore!
I realized that sometimes to fall is good for your "health", and falling in many ways in many areas in our life is innevitable specially since our nature is vulnerable to you know what.
Happiness is real and life is true when we have fallen. Because you knew what it is to be human.
(Hayyy!!! Ano bang sinasabi ko? I have become too serious.)
God has been so good to me. He has His little ways of putting back the smiles on my face!
I got a little anxious yesterday. I remembered some thoughts that I realized was not yet settled in my mind. Triggered, it caused me a deep sadness.
Though it was raining, I went to the city to do some mailing... the rain, for the first became good on my skin! On my way to SM Batangas, a cute little boy sat beside me. While we talk, it's as if God was talking to me, telling me, "I'm with you. Don't be afraid."
I did some archading. I enjoyed "Time Crisis", breaking away from my stresses. For every bullet that I shot in levelling up goes down to my anxiousness, and my sadness. There goes the walls!! Timbering!!
I walked home, instead of riding. The mountains were partly covered with rain clouds. They're beautiful, with the rain clouds! I can hear the still small voice of God in my heart, "Who told you to be afraid? Who told you, you will walk alone in this one? Didn't I tell you I will walk with you through this one?".
Peace.
I bowed before Isa Almasih (Jesus Christ) when I reached the village. A solemn serenity enveloping the worship place. I can almost feel the smile on His face, as He always do every time I bow before Him. " I will be with you when you go through this one. We will walk together."
Enough has been said.
" You are forever in my life.
You see me through the seasons.
Cover me with your hand.
And lead me in your righteousness...
And I look to You.
And I wait on you."
I want to go on a hundred miles from here. = )
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Read Eicher. It's For you!
I am happy you are here reading my posts!
I hope you know now what's in my mind!
I'm so happy to have you here in my life!
Hanep!!!
I hope you know now what's in my mind!
I'm so happy to have you here in my life!
Hanep!!!
Sunday, July 8, 2007
"Life, Eicher is sometimes like this."
Tonight is the first clear evening sky of July! I decided to go for a short walk in the village. I looked at the light studded mountains not far away from our place... it's beautiful! The gentle breeze is lightly touching my face and neck like an embrace.
I stood up in the middle of the village, looked up in the sky and uttered a short prayer. Prayer is what I can do now.
"I wish, Oh God, I am only dreaming... and please wake me up.
I know I can't do anything for this.... please be in control."
I sat down under the banana tree and tried to organize in my mind what is this happening to me.
Life is sometimes like this. It has its way of making you laugh and cry. It also has its way to make you hysterical or placid. Sometimes it has its humor, and sometimes its humor hurts! It breaks! Sometimes it's just so fair, everything seems to fall into right places, and we all laugh unendlessly! However and whatever it may be, there is something to learn... always.
It's like weathering a rock formation-- it can change, or add something to who you really are. As for me, I changed! It etched in me humility. I got a deeper understanding of... love and forgiveness.
But you said, Love is not a destiny. It's a choice!
Yes, I see, and it's true. Everything we do is a matter of choice.
But Newton is also right when he said that in every action, there is an equal or opposite reaction.
Even our choices have equivalent reactions. It's up to us how to bear them! Tama ba ako?
...but our choices are hanging in the air.
Between us is a river with a bridge, none of us can't go up to the other side, because the bridge is broken.
Between us is a giant wall that separates us from even merely our views of each other. Only our voices can be heard!
Life is sometimes like this.
Acceptance is a must if we want to survive;
the right choices, if want to stay happy;
and prayer if we want to keep on moving.
Do not worry, life doesn't end here...
I stood up in the middle of the village, looked up in the sky and uttered a short prayer. Prayer is what I can do now.
"I wish, Oh God, I am only dreaming... and please wake me up.
I know I can't do anything for this.... please be in control."
I sat down under the banana tree and tried to organize in my mind what is this happening to me.
Life is sometimes like this. It has its way of making you laugh and cry. It also has its way to make you hysterical or placid. Sometimes it has its humor, and sometimes its humor hurts! It breaks! Sometimes it's just so fair, everything seems to fall into right places, and we all laugh unendlessly! However and whatever it may be, there is something to learn... always.
It's like weathering a rock formation-- it can change, or add something to who you really are. As for me, I changed! It etched in me humility. I got a deeper understanding of... love and forgiveness.
But you said, Love is not a destiny. It's a choice!
Yes, I see, and it's true. Everything we do is a matter of choice.
But Newton is also right when he said that in every action, there is an equal or opposite reaction.
Even our choices have equivalent reactions. It's up to us how to bear them! Tama ba ako?
...but our choices are hanging in the air.
Between us is a river with a bridge, none of us can't go up to the other side, because the bridge is broken.
Between us is a giant wall that separates us from even merely our views of each other. Only our voices can be heard!
Life is sometimes like this.
Acceptance is a must if we want to survive;
the right choices, if want to stay happy;
and prayer if we want to keep on moving.
Do not worry, life doesn't end here...
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Ours is a Koreanovela
Eicher...
for a short period of time, you add happiness to my secluded world.
for a short period of time, you add laughters to my smiles... yet you said, my eyes can't hide what's in my heart!
Yeah! for a short period of time, my organized schedule and life was broken... by you... to add meaning to my routine!
for a while, I have learned to crossed boundaries and bridges I've never crossed before!
for a while, I have tasted how it is to be free.
for a while, I have known what a wonderful person you are!.... and it's worth my tears!
for a while, I have known how it is to be sweetly loved.... yeah, for you are a sweet person!
who would forget you?
maybe I wouldn't, even if I go a thousand miles away!
for a short period of time, I could say that I bacame a fool.
but it's worth it!
shall we be content in merely glancing at each other?
shall we be content in merely seeing through small chances of looking at each' image in our minds?
but ours is in the wrong time!
in a wrong time!
it's like a koreanovela,
that happened in the wrong time!
and what good will ever come out in a situation that happened in a wrong time?
..... just memories.
( i hope you could read this, so you will know how deep the pain is.)
sa aking mga bisitang mambabasa: pakiusap lang po, walang kokontra! akin 'to! basa na lang kayo or makiiyak na lang! pagbigyan na lang!
for a short period of time, you add happiness to my secluded world.
for a short period of time, you add laughters to my smiles... yet you said, my eyes can't hide what's in my heart!
Yeah! for a short period of time, my organized schedule and life was broken... by you... to add meaning to my routine!
for a while, I have learned to crossed boundaries and bridges I've never crossed before!
for a while, I have tasted how it is to be free.
for a while, I have known what a wonderful person you are!.... and it's worth my tears!
for a while, I have known how it is to be sweetly loved.... yeah, for you are a sweet person!
who would forget you?
maybe I wouldn't, even if I go a thousand miles away!
for a short period of time, I could say that I bacame a fool.
but it's worth it!
shall we be content in merely glancing at each other?
shall we be content in merely seeing through small chances of looking at each' image in our minds?
but ours is in the wrong time!
in a wrong time!
it's like a koreanovela,
that happened in the wrong time!
and what good will ever come out in a situation that happened in a wrong time?
..... just memories.
( i hope you could read this, so you will know how deep the pain is.)
sa aking mga bisitang mambabasa: pakiusap lang po, walang kokontra! akin 'to! basa na lang kayo or makiiyak na lang! pagbigyan na lang!
Saturday, June 30, 2007
These Guys...
Dominic Roco - a bilao of rice biko and relyenong bangus!
At 7 o'clock in the morning of June 29, this sweet guy asked me if I like to eat biko? I said yes! And by the 11th am, a bilao of special malagkit rice biko and 6 relyenong bangus were delivered handcarried to my office! I was stunned! OMG! I thought Dom's joking! He was not! All my employees were kilig to the bones! Followed by a text : " Nagustuhan mo ba ang padala q sau? Kinain mo ba?". Oha!!!
Mamatay sila sa inggit!
Eihcer - "love is a choice. Destiny is a lie."
" when a guy calls you, he wants to be with you.
when a guy is quiet, he's listening to you.
when a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do.
when a guy calls/texts/comments on you everyday, he is in love!
when a guy tells you he loves you, he means it!
when a guy says, "I miss you!", he misses you more than you could have ever missed him in
anything else."
He does the every "when".
Alex- " love is a destiny."
He believes that love is a matter of destiny designed by the Almighty for every person living on earth. So even if he loves you so much, he will forget about you when he learned you're not his destined partner to be!
He extends covenant friendship where a friend will be willing to die for his friend if necessary!
He's my covenant-friend!
Rein - " not everyone is blessed with everything."
He's successful in every endeavor yet finds himself not blessed in love!
He's also my covenant-friend!
Gary - " love is something to enjoy about."
He believes that if you failed in your relationship, it's not always the end! You can still enjoy it! He learns fast in love and fun. He's always there, silently lurking around my celphone connection, always wondering why my phone's busy or not available!
He's also my covenant-friend!
Macmac- " success lies within."
Don Makoy wishes to be rich and famous! Very industrious! Always finding the secrets to success and I believe he has found the one!
He's also my covenant-friend!
Mark - "say what you mean and mean what you say."
He taught me that women should be open with their minds, saying what's in it so men won't misunderstood them! He taught me to be frank about my feelings and my thoughts. Not to be afraid of what's in my mind. That there is freedom and peace in it! But he's gone now! I wonder if he will come back again?
Jhomar- " it's human to commit a mistake."
He's afraid to fall!! Yet, all along he taught me that it's o.k. to commit mistakes. That it's healthy so you will learn! That mistakes is part of our existence and we should not be afraid of them!
These are the guys who shook my world!
At 7 o'clock in the morning of June 29, this sweet guy asked me if I like to eat biko? I said yes! And by the 11th am, a bilao of special malagkit rice biko and 6 relyenong bangus were delivered handcarried to my office! I was stunned! OMG! I thought Dom's joking! He was not! All my employees were kilig to the bones! Followed by a text : " Nagustuhan mo ba ang padala q sau? Kinain mo ba?". Oha!!!
Mamatay sila sa inggit!
Eihcer - "love is a choice. Destiny is a lie."
" when a guy calls you, he wants to be with you.
when a guy is quiet, he's listening to you.
when a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do.
when a guy calls/texts/comments on you everyday, he is in love!
when a guy tells you he loves you, he means it!
when a guy says, "I miss you!", he misses you more than you could have ever missed him in
anything else."
He does the every "when".
Alex- " love is a destiny."
He believes that love is a matter of destiny designed by the Almighty for every person living on earth. So even if he loves you so much, he will forget about you when he learned you're not his destined partner to be!
He extends covenant friendship where a friend will be willing to die for his friend if necessary!
He's my covenant-friend!
Rein - " not everyone is blessed with everything."
He's successful in every endeavor yet finds himself not blessed in love!
He's also my covenant-friend!
Gary - " love is something to enjoy about."
He believes that if you failed in your relationship, it's not always the end! You can still enjoy it! He learns fast in love and fun. He's always there, silently lurking around my celphone connection, always wondering why my phone's busy or not available!
He's also my covenant-friend!
Macmac- " success lies within."
Don Makoy wishes to be rich and famous! Very industrious! Always finding the secrets to success and I believe he has found the one!
He's also my covenant-friend!
Mark - "say what you mean and mean what you say."
He taught me that women should be open with their minds, saying what's in it so men won't misunderstood them! He taught me to be frank about my feelings and my thoughts. Not to be afraid of what's in my mind. That there is freedom and peace in it! But he's gone now! I wonder if he will come back again?
Jhomar- " it's human to commit a mistake."
He's afraid to fall!! Yet, all along he taught me that it's o.k. to commit mistakes. That it's healthy so you will learn! That mistakes is part of our existence and we should not be afraid of them!
These are the guys who shook my world!
Friday, June 22, 2007
" Dominic"
Dominic was a stranger who landed on my cellphone, through a mistaken identity situation, on a hot, tensed and tiring Sunday afternoon of June. I had no idea that this person is a "someone" in showbizness because of his father's legacy! I didn't even know that this guy exists because I don't usually watch television except for news and english movies I prefer to watch. My confusion as to this mistaken identity led him to find out how my number got into his brother's celphone. I thought that was a short moment. And I thought this man was just pretending to be what he claimed to be: the son of a legendary actor!
I called that day a shot! All things forgotten including this "Dominic".
While trying to find my way along J.P. Rizal Avenue, Dominic sent me a message. And this went on everyday up to this day. No period of the day that he stopped sending me messages, even while in classes ( for he's attending his Mass Communication classes in Mapua), in shootings, in tapings, even in practices for the SOP opening numbers! He lets me know his ways to and fro! I know if he's sick, or busy, or simply tired, or irritated!
We became best friends!
Our friendship was already put to the test. It is good that we always end up forgiving one another, as if nothing happened, our friendship continues.
Day after day, I came to know Dominic. He's a sweet person but hesitant to show his feelings. You see him on tv as out-going and funny, but in real life, he's quiet and "torpe". He hates noise and loud voices. He dislikes women who are loudmouthed and "maarte". He likes simple women who can talk to him about everything and anything. A woman who can make him laugh is a plus to him. The best I like in him is his humility. He's quick to admit his fault and to say " I'm sorry.". And he will make you feel that you're important to him! He's also a perfectionist man, responsible and punctual, loyal to his commitments and hates laziness!
But that's not all with Dominic. There are a lot of beautiful things about him!
And wishes too. He wishes to be free! Free from public scrutiny! Free to move about! Free to be himself! It's not easy to be in showbizness, he said.
Oh, that's true, even I can feel it!
Did I already come face to face with Dominic? Not yet! Our time and work can't permit us to do so but promised to be one day. Oh, but am scared! Scared to see him!
If I will assign him a color in my world, I will give him my favorite color "Black"! Because you need to unlock him to get to know him, and when you do, you'll discover that he's more than meets the eye!
I hope our friendship will last a lifetime!
I called that day a shot! All things forgotten including this "Dominic".
While trying to find my way along J.P. Rizal Avenue, Dominic sent me a message. And this went on everyday up to this day. No period of the day that he stopped sending me messages, even while in classes ( for he's attending his Mass Communication classes in Mapua), in shootings, in tapings, even in practices for the SOP opening numbers! He lets me know his ways to and fro! I know if he's sick, or busy, or simply tired, or irritated!
We became best friends!
Our friendship was already put to the test. It is good that we always end up forgiving one another, as if nothing happened, our friendship continues.
Day after day, I came to know Dominic. He's a sweet person but hesitant to show his feelings. You see him on tv as out-going and funny, but in real life, he's quiet and "torpe". He hates noise and loud voices. He dislikes women who are loudmouthed and "maarte". He likes simple women who can talk to him about everything and anything. A woman who can make him laugh is a plus to him. The best I like in him is his humility. He's quick to admit his fault and to say " I'm sorry.". And he will make you feel that you're important to him! He's also a perfectionist man, responsible and punctual, loyal to his commitments and hates laziness!
But that's not all with Dominic. There are a lot of beautiful things about him!
And wishes too. He wishes to be free! Free from public scrutiny! Free to move about! Free to be himself! It's not easy to be in showbizness, he said.
Oh, that's true, even I can feel it!
Did I already come face to face with Dominic? Not yet! Our time and work can't permit us to do so but promised to be one day. Oh, but am scared! Scared to see him!
If I will assign him a color in my world, I will give him my favorite color "Black"! Because you need to unlock him to get to know him, and when you do, you'll discover that he's more than meets the eye!
I hope our friendship will last a lifetime!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Friends come, Friends go in life
"....someone to hold,
someone to cry,
someone who'll make me feel all right..."
-Maybe
jolina magdangal
It's a fair day since Sunday, only got a little unfair yesterday when a supposed friend dropped me off from his list of friends! Shukss! Naiyak ako! My frustration seemed triggered the sky... it thundered, and caused a 3 minutes brown out in our area, shut down my cpu while I forgot to saved the documents I was working on! I was kinda "brought back to my senses" when the brown out stroke!I paused for a while and controlled my frustration and sama ng loob.
I've talked about "rejection" last month, and a friend of mine who's a training facilitator, said he's given an assignment to discuss this topic scientifically and medically to his bunch of trainees. We have discussed the underlying factors, misconceptions and treatment of "rejection" in the YM. Well, I was given a taste of it, perhaps so I could put to a test everything I have contributed in our discussion of this topic, "rejection".
A friend go, some friends come! The heaven always has its way of cheering me up! I gained a friend from Mindanao, who's honest enough to admit who he is and accept whatever is in my profile! And I'm also glad to be a textmate to a celebrity, which is not a product of Sun promo offer, but of a mistaken identity. The story how he landed on my phone is hilarious but it's like a drop of rain on my very exhausting Sunday afternoon! My laughter echoed to the community, the tribespeople looked at me with amazement exclaiming " teacher, ok lang po kau? masaya po kau?". Nobody likes to believe me that its true. Maybe because its difficult to trust a text message, coz you can't see who's on the other side. Madaling gawin 'yan! But nevertheless, I"m still proud that my range of friendships is getting wider. We've been texting now for 3 days, informing me where he is and what he's doing. And telling me what's in his mind!
This afternoon, I'd go 3kms walk to the seashore to get into a banca into the nearby island where my work is. Go back by 6pm. I hope this time, the banca will be fine, coz yesterday its almost "abandon ship!" in the middle of the bay for the 3 of us who gone by the island! Buti na lang di uso ang sharks ngayon dito sa amin! I don't know how to swim, but the irony of life is, I was called to work in the communities of "water people" who are like dolphins when they're in the water!
This is life... I believe we should enjoy it, with its pains and sorrows. Not to, is to deprive ourselves of its essence!
someone to cry,
someone who'll make me feel all right..."
-Maybe
jolina magdangal
It's a fair day since Sunday, only got a little unfair yesterday when a supposed friend dropped me off from his list of friends! Shukss! Naiyak ako! My frustration seemed triggered the sky... it thundered, and caused a 3 minutes brown out in our area, shut down my cpu while I forgot to saved the documents I was working on! I was kinda "brought back to my senses" when the brown out stroke!I paused for a while and controlled my frustration and sama ng loob.
I've talked about "rejection" last month, and a friend of mine who's a training facilitator, said he's given an assignment to discuss this topic scientifically and medically to his bunch of trainees. We have discussed the underlying factors, misconceptions and treatment of "rejection" in the YM. Well, I was given a taste of it, perhaps so I could put to a test everything I have contributed in our discussion of this topic, "rejection".
A friend go, some friends come! The heaven always has its way of cheering me up! I gained a friend from Mindanao, who's honest enough to admit who he is and accept whatever is in my profile! And I'm also glad to be a textmate to a celebrity, which is not a product of Sun promo offer, but of a mistaken identity. The story how he landed on my phone is hilarious but it's like a drop of rain on my very exhausting Sunday afternoon! My laughter echoed to the community, the tribespeople looked at me with amazement exclaiming " teacher, ok lang po kau? masaya po kau?". Nobody likes to believe me that its true. Maybe because its difficult to trust a text message, coz you can't see who's on the other side. Madaling gawin 'yan! But nevertheless, I"m still proud that my range of friendships is getting wider. We've been texting now for 3 days, informing me where he is and what he's doing. And telling me what's in his mind!
This afternoon, I'd go 3kms walk to the seashore to get into a banca into the nearby island where my work is. Go back by 6pm. I hope this time, the banca will be fine, coz yesterday its almost "abandon ship!" in the middle of the bay for the 3 of us who gone by the island! Buti na lang di uso ang sharks ngayon dito sa amin! I don't know how to swim, but the irony of life is, I was called to work in the communities of "water people" who are like dolphins when they're in the water!
This is life... I believe we should enjoy it, with its pains and sorrows. Not to, is to deprive ourselves of its essence!
Saturday, June 2, 2007
it took me 30 minutes or more before i finally decided to write a post. my rational mind is battling againts the logic of my right brain! ...and a part of me is hurting.
but still, i got some things in my "pocket":
1. cacti are good anti-goat attack! ( re-planted cacti this morning near the fences to protect the herbs am planning to plant. I ended up pulling tiny thorns from my hands which my near-sighted eyes can't see!)
2. there are a lot of women in the world, and they're not the same with each other. No two women are alike, but luckily, the one similarity which guys must take note in order to succeed wooing a woman: their moves are predictable though most of the times confusing. (a friend of mine interviewed me about women and their reactions. cguro may naiispatan na ang mokong na ito?)
3. in a wardrobe, the shoes is the most important one! (I turned down a dinner-fellowship at Hotel Fontefino because I forgot to buy shoes which is appropriate for my dress! shukss! )
4. defense mechanisms cushioned the ego againts pain. ngekss!! ( i can't believe am sourgraping:" well anyway the dinner's for married couples, am not one. am single. so ok lang.) grrrr!
5. masarap na sawsawan ng manggang hilaw ang toyong may crushed 5 pcs siling labuyo, a pinch of sugar and a sprinkle of vinegar!
my rational mind is still battling againts the logic my right brain, and a part of me is still hurting.
i think i need a vacation!
but still, i got some things in my "pocket":
1. cacti are good anti-goat attack! ( re-planted cacti this morning near the fences to protect the herbs am planning to plant. I ended up pulling tiny thorns from my hands which my near-sighted eyes can't see!)
2. there are a lot of women in the world, and they're not the same with each other. No two women are alike, but luckily, the one similarity which guys must take note in order to succeed wooing a woman: their moves are predictable though most of the times confusing. (a friend of mine interviewed me about women and their reactions. cguro may naiispatan na ang mokong na ito?)
3. in a wardrobe, the shoes is the most important one! (I turned down a dinner-fellowship at Hotel Fontefino because I forgot to buy shoes which is appropriate for my dress! shukss! )
4. defense mechanisms cushioned the ego againts pain. ngekss!! ( i can't believe am sourgraping:" well anyway the dinner's for married couples, am not one. am single. so ok lang.) grrrr!
5. masarap na sawsawan ng manggang hilaw ang toyong may crushed 5 pcs siling labuyo, a pinch of sugar and a sprinkle of vinegar!
my rational mind is still battling againts the logic my right brain, and a part of me is still hurting.
i think i need a vacation!
in my mind
" I will do everything I can until my destiny is finally revealed! If it'll takes a lot of hardships, so be it!"
- Tom Cruise
on
"the Last Samurai"
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
this poem,RAC,the wedding and me
Do I need to go out to the grounds
to know if the rain is already here?
Do I need to pause for a while
to feel that I"m forgetting something?
Do I have to beg for the time to speed up its hands,
So I could catch up with you in the clouds?
Am I just a dreamer ? or I'm a fool believing?
A wishful thinking? What could I be?
Shall I stop knowing? Shall I cease from waiting?
Shall I stop believing? Something you do not know.
At sunset, the waves return to the sea, the birds to its nests.
The man to his home.
Shall I remain standing here, still believing
For something none of us have ever known.
It's already Alba-a subo!( Wednesday morning). Still awake. My tiredness won't leave me! So I do this blog.
I left Batangas yesterday at 5:30am to go to the RAC of the DSWD in Manila City Hall, to claim 2 Badjaos who were mistaken as beggars in Pier,Manila. They went to the Pier to fetch some relatives from Davao. After showing some documents, they were released to me. Cries, hugs and kisses melted down my hunger and fatigue. They were like little children clinging to my arms as we walked along LRT to the bus station with all eyes on us! My best friend who's with me can't believe that it's happening.
It's part of my work. Am not a social worker. Inside the RAC, I thought, I should have taken that course- Social Work.
After bringing the badjaos to the bus, and made some requests to the bus conductor for them, I asked my friend if we could go to the NSO to authenticate my birth certificate, but the rain came in the way! I thought, perhaps it's not yet time for me to get a license, since it'll take 3 days for the NSO to authenticate a docu. I'll be very late for the filing due of documents for the licensure examination. Surely I'll miss it! So I shifted gear- I'll take my M.A. instead if I will not be enrolled in the mission school this August in Mindanao. And get a license next year! Di naman mukhang magulo, ano? Parang lang!
Am still thinking of our school. Still up to now. Am getting a headache because of it! Now, I can appreciate being an employee. No headaches! You just have to contend with the boss, but when 5pm strikes, you go home and forget about your job, come again tomorrow.
At 8am Salasa (Tuesday), I enrolled to a public school my 13 badjao pupils, all first time in a public school. I, one by one introduced their mothers to the teachers and show where the classrooms are. I hope things will get well the whole school year for them!
By 2pm, I was in a wedding ceremony of 2 young badjaos in the tribe an island away from ours. This is the 2nd badjao wedding I attended. The wedding prelude takes 3 days of non-stop dancing and eating! I was there during the baysanan ( bridal shower & stag party combined). I've never seen so many huge round trays filled with different kinds of bread and the whole tribe's got to eat all the food! I also have never seen such display of jewelries, real gold, worn by the couple, the family and the guests! All guests have to dance the igal, their native dance. And of course, I danced! I received panggi (where other guests put money on your fingers while you dance). There are so many people, all badjaos! The food are not like ours except for the pancit. But they are okay to eat. Besides I need to eat them whether I like it or not. And you have to eat them kamayan! Their culture on acceptance is so sensitive. And I've never experienced such a feeling of being honored as a wedding guest! I like their culture! I like the malong! And the igal dance is regal! They are poor but they have a rich culture! I learned the igal so well, the wearing of malong is something I can't perfect! I can't learn the female waist fold. So I use the male waist fold which always earn a remark from my mom," ano ka lalaki?"
By 5pm, I tried to review words I learned in sinama, (badjao's dialect). And sang some sinama songs so I won't forget the intonations and of course, the words.
By 9pm, I opened my e-mail inbox to check for mails. An e-mail stroke me. It says, "There are 2 women within a woman: one is the socially acceptable woman, and the other is the natural woman. Both in a woman. very few women know this. It is rare to find a woman who can nurture her natural self without hurting her socially acceptable self and keeping it safe.". Hmmmm.
By 11pm, my head spun after knowing and analyzing that I over-withdrawn money from one of the bank accounts of my daddy! My dad yelled on the other side of the broadband, "Ano??!!!".... Ouchh!!!
I have to go to Bulacan today at 5am. Mission? Mangaral ng kapatid na naho homesick kaya umuwi ng Pinas ng walang nakakaalam! (added secret mission: watch Shrek 3. Ha ha ha!)
OMG!! What a day!!
*************************************************************
To those who gave their comments about my blog in teen talk! Thank you very much! Mwah! Mwah! mwah!
*************************************************************
Oh yeah, I finally watched Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End. Sorry to myself, I only understood what the East India Trading is trying to do in the movie. I can't understand the Calypso thing. What does it got to do with the story? I"ve watched all Pirates but I didn't get it! But I can't forget the wedding scene of Elizabeth & Will, and Will becoming the destined captain of the Dutchman....
" Captain forever"
*************************************************************
I sing this love song:
Pakale maka pinaheya. Masulga maka madunya.
Iya kamemon du makaasadya.
P'nno iya sin lasa
M'bal magka pinda,
O'mma kalangan ku, sin lasa nu.
( Oh, let heaven & earth hear, I want everyone to know:
That my love for you never ceases....)
to know if the rain is already here?
Do I need to pause for a while
to feel that I"m forgetting something?
Do I have to beg for the time to speed up its hands,
So I could catch up with you in the clouds?
Am I just a dreamer ? or I'm a fool believing?
A wishful thinking? What could I be?
Shall I stop knowing? Shall I cease from waiting?
Shall I stop believing? Something you do not know.
At sunset, the waves return to the sea, the birds to its nests.
The man to his home.
Shall I remain standing here, still believing
For something none of us have ever known.
It's already Alba-a subo!( Wednesday morning). Still awake. My tiredness won't leave me! So I do this blog.
I left Batangas yesterday at 5:30am to go to the RAC of the DSWD in Manila City Hall, to claim 2 Badjaos who were mistaken as beggars in Pier,Manila. They went to the Pier to fetch some relatives from Davao. After showing some documents, they were released to me. Cries, hugs and kisses melted down my hunger and fatigue. They were like little children clinging to my arms as we walked along LRT to the bus station with all eyes on us! My best friend who's with me can't believe that it's happening.
It's part of my work. Am not a social worker. Inside the RAC, I thought, I should have taken that course- Social Work.
After bringing the badjaos to the bus, and made some requests to the bus conductor for them, I asked my friend if we could go to the NSO to authenticate my birth certificate, but the rain came in the way! I thought, perhaps it's not yet time for me to get a license, since it'll take 3 days for the NSO to authenticate a docu. I'll be very late for the filing due of documents for the licensure examination. Surely I'll miss it! So I shifted gear- I'll take my M.A. instead if I will not be enrolled in the mission school this August in Mindanao. And get a license next year! Di naman mukhang magulo, ano? Parang lang!
Am still thinking of our school. Still up to now. Am getting a headache because of it! Now, I can appreciate being an employee. No headaches! You just have to contend with the boss, but when 5pm strikes, you go home and forget about your job, come again tomorrow.
At 8am Salasa (Tuesday), I enrolled to a public school my 13 badjao pupils, all first time in a public school. I, one by one introduced their mothers to the teachers and show where the classrooms are. I hope things will get well the whole school year for them!
By 2pm, I was in a wedding ceremony of 2 young badjaos in the tribe an island away from ours. This is the 2nd badjao wedding I attended. The wedding prelude takes 3 days of non-stop dancing and eating! I was there during the baysanan ( bridal shower & stag party combined). I've never seen so many huge round trays filled with different kinds of bread and the whole tribe's got to eat all the food! I also have never seen such display of jewelries, real gold, worn by the couple, the family and the guests! All guests have to dance the igal, their native dance. And of course, I danced! I received panggi (where other guests put money on your fingers while you dance). There are so many people, all badjaos! The food are not like ours except for the pancit. But they are okay to eat. Besides I need to eat them whether I like it or not. And you have to eat them kamayan! Their culture on acceptance is so sensitive. And I've never experienced such a feeling of being honored as a wedding guest! I like their culture! I like the malong! And the igal dance is regal! They are poor but they have a rich culture! I learned the igal so well, the wearing of malong is something I can't perfect! I can't learn the female waist fold. So I use the male waist fold which always earn a remark from my mom," ano ka lalaki?"
By 5pm, I tried to review words I learned in sinama, (badjao's dialect). And sang some sinama songs so I won't forget the intonations and of course, the words.
By 9pm, I opened my e-mail inbox to check for mails. An e-mail stroke me. It says, "There are 2 women within a woman: one is the socially acceptable woman, and the other is the natural woman. Both in a woman. very few women know this. It is rare to find a woman who can nurture her natural self without hurting her socially acceptable self and keeping it safe.". Hmmmm.
By 11pm, my head spun after knowing and analyzing that I over-withdrawn money from one of the bank accounts of my daddy! My dad yelled on the other side of the broadband, "Ano??!!!".... Ouchh!!!
I have to go to Bulacan today at 5am. Mission? Mangaral ng kapatid na naho homesick kaya umuwi ng Pinas ng walang nakakaalam! (added secret mission: watch Shrek 3. Ha ha ha!)
OMG!! What a day!!
*************************************************************
To those who gave their comments about my blog in teen talk! Thank you very much! Mwah! Mwah! mwah!
*************************************************************
Oh yeah, I finally watched Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End. Sorry to myself, I only understood what the East India Trading is trying to do in the movie. I can't understand the Calypso thing. What does it got to do with the story? I"ve watched all Pirates but I didn't get it! But I can't forget the wedding scene of Elizabeth & Will, and Will becoming the destined captain of the Dutchman....
" Captain forever"
*************************************************************
I sing this love song:
Pakale maka pinaheya. Masulga maka madunya.
Iya kamemon du makaasadya.
P'nno iya sin lasa
M'bal magka pinda,
O'mma kalangan ku, sin lasa nu.
( Oh, let heaven & earth hear, I want everyone to know:
That my love for you never ceases....)
Saturday, May 26, 2007
2 mugs of coffee and 6 donuts
It's been another very busy day! I'm a little bit frustrated becoz it's Shrek 3 na, & still I haven't watched Pirates of the Carribean! Grrrrr! When will I have the "time"? I hope the heavens will spare me a day before summer ends in Thursday, bka magkatotoo wish ko, e,I'll be needing a free time.
I'm supposed to sleep early tonight but I can't. It's my 2nd mug of coffee & my 6th donut! I can't help but think about the word, "rejection". Why do some people prefer a kind of person and reject another? Why can't everybody accept everyone not for the sake of love, but for the sake of " being human"?
It hurts to be rejected specially if the reason is as simple as your physical appearance, or your status in life! No wonder why some people tend to lie about who they are! Tend to hide behind a character! Why can't we see the essence of ourselves and other people's? If we do that, then nobody will cry.Nobody will build defense mechanisms.
But still I can't understand.
I learned this from reading the book of John and Romans : " God loved us not because we could love Him, but because we can't. He loved us because it's His choice, and nobody can do something about that. It's better to love without any reason, because if there are reasons why we love someone, if those reasons fail, then we stop loving. Loving someone simply because it's your choice and not because of any reason, last till eternity. You love a person based on yourself not on him or her.... and there is no law againts it.
sorry po for writing this one as parang sermon on the mount.
i wish my summer wish will come true.
I'm supposed to sleep early tonight but I can't. It's my 2nd mug of coffee & my 6th donut! I can't help but think about the word, "rejection". Why do some people prefer a kind of person and reject another? Why can't everybody accept everyone not for the sake of love, but for the sake of " being human"?
It hurts to be rejected specially if the reason is as simple as your physical appearance, or your status in life! No wonder why some people tend to lie about who they are! Tend to hide behind a character! Why can't we see the essence of ourselves and other people's? If we do that, then nobody will cry.Nobody will build defense mechanisms.
But still I can't understand.
I learned this from reading the book of John and Romans : " God loved us not because we could love Him, but because we can't. He loved us because it's His choice, and nobody can do something about that. It's better to love without any reason, because if there are reasons why we love someone, if those reasons fail, then we stop loving. Loving someone simply because it's your choice and not because of any reason, last till eternity. You love a person based on yourself not on him or her.... and there is no law againts it.
sorry po for writing this one as parang sermon on the mount.
i wish my summer wish will come true.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
After 3 days, I'm back!
Those were tiring days! I spent those days working in the office, not paper works but manual job! Because no male employee in sight! My muscles ache up to now! The massages I got did not suffice!
I missed the Pirates, the dinner date, the malling, and the Rizal Park! Someone blurted out, "hey tsong, wait ka na ng bf mo sa Luneta, buhat ka pa ng buhat ng tables dyan!". (My bf in Luneta is none other than the man who doesn't know how to sit down--- JR... Jose Rizal!). Those pesky jokes just earn from me a laugh! Anyway, I like the park, more than any other park! Because it's big and wide, and near the bay, with a very senti sunset, green grass, fresh air, taho in the evening, and an open heaven! Relaxing... for me. Whenever I'm sick, tired and petitioning God for something, my friend brings me there.
The night before I go, lying on my bed with the t.v. on, a preview of the show, Here Comes the Bride flashed on the screen. I learned it's a competitions for couples about to wed. But the fat bride caught my attention, who's crying out, " bakit ako? ayoko...". I asked the people in the house, "is she a bride?" ( she's wearing a wedding gown!). I blurted out, " huh? bride siya? what do you know...". She's lucky, I thought. She's got a guy and she'll get marry! I wonder what's in her that made her through the isle? I've got beautiful friends, all professionals, but all guy-less!It's not because they shun guys, but because no guy is courting them!
I wonder what female qualities do really men like? Qualities that will click to men that will move them to court a woman? A male friend once said to me with a high tone after asking him if he likes beautiful & sexy ladies: " What will I do with a beautiful face?". That guy is good looking and intelligent... and she loves girls! Aahhh...
It's still a puzzle to me specially when I learned from a survey that the female-male ratio now a days is 8:1 ( 8 females to 1 man!). Napaka swerte ng mga lalaki! No wonder why many women today fall in-love so easily, even with married guys! The world is running out of men! OMG!!! To think of it that most eligible men now are either taken or gay!
I departed from thinking about it! Besides, it's not a problem to me. Ha ha ha ha!
4am, I headed south. And off I go with a promise I'll be back by June 11. My prayer went again, that God will give me a good-looking male seatmate who will not move a bit but only watch the movie on video. Answered prayer! I was able to sleep in the bus!
Something came up to my window : a black butterfly! on a moving bus? Premonition?
I arrived here in Batangas, 10am. After wearing my langit-langit malong ( a malong half-leg lenght pants with tassles and beads on the hemline), off to work I go. A young man yawned as I teach, and said he's tired , got a slam from me, " Kung pagod ka na, ano tawag mo sa akin?!". So I was able to finish my lesson.
Checking on my e-mail and my friendster, my tiredness ran down like water to my legs: Mark is still alive, but still in his " silent" mode, and Jhomar is still pushing for the hamsters to rule! I can't believe myself! nahh!
My phone still rings at 12:40am. Friends checking me out if I"m okay, busy or nagbibisi-bisihan lang, and why am still awake?:
Thank you Lord for my friends who keep me company always, who care, who support, who give me headache as well as tummy ache, and who's always there specially in times like this. Take care of them, Lord and give them long life so all of us will always have fun times together! Amen.
Those were tiring days! I spent those days working in the office, not paper works but manual job! Because no male employee in sight! My muscles ache up to now! The massages I got did not suffice!
I missed the Pirates, the dinner date, the malling, and the Rizal Park! Someone blurted out, "hey tsong, wait ka na ng bf mo sa Luneta, buhat ka pa ng buhat ng tables dyan!". (My bf in Luneta is none other than the man who doesn't know how to sit down--- JR... Jose Rizal!). Those pesky jokes just earn from me a laugh! Anyway, I like the park, more than any other park! Because it's big and wide, and near the bay, with a very senti sunset, green grass, fresh air, taho in the evening, and an open heaven! Relaxing... for me. Whenever I'm sick, tired and petitioning God for something, my friend brings me there.
The night before I go, lying on my bed with the t.v. on, a preview of the show, Here Comes the Bride flashed on the screen. I learned it's a competitions for couples about to wed. But the fat bride caught my attention, who's crying out, " bakit ako? ayoko...". I asked the people in the house, "is she a bride?" ( she's wearing a wedding gown!). I blurted out, " huh? bride siya? what do you know...". She's lucky, I thought. She's got a guy and she'll get marry! I wonder what's in her that made her through the isle? I've got beautiful friends, all professionals, but all guy-less!It's not because they shun guys, but because no guy is courting them!
I wonder what female qualities do really men like? Qualities that will click to men that will move them to court a woman? A male friend once said to me with a high tone after asking him if he likes beautiful & sexy ladies: " What will I do with a beautiful face?". That guy is good looking and intelligent... and she loves girls! Aahhh...
It's still a puzzle to me specially when I learned from a survey that the female-male ratio now a days is 8:1 ( 8 females to 1 man!). Napaka swerte ng mga lalaki! No wonder why many women today fall in-love so easily, even with married guys! The world is running out of men! OMG!!! To think of it that most eligible men now are either taken or gay!
I departed from thinking about it! Besides, it's not a problem to me. Ha ha ha ha!
4am, I headed south. And off I go with a promise I'll be back by June 11. My prayer went again, that God will give me a good-looking male seatmate who will not move a bit but only watch the movie on video. Answered prayer! I was able to sleep in the bus!
Something came up to my window : a black butterfly! on a moving bus? Premonition?
I arrived here in Batangas, 10am. After wearing my langit-langit malong ( a malong half-leg lenght pants with tassles and beads on the hemline), off to work I go. A young man yawned as I teach, and said he's tired , got a slam from me, " Kung pagod ka na, ano tawag mo sa akin?!". So I was able to finish my lesson.
Checking on my e-mail and my friendster, my tiredness ran down like water to my legs: Mark is still alive, but still in his " silent" mode, and Jhomar is still pushing for the hamsters to rule! I can't believe myself! nahh!
My phone still rings at 12:40am. Friends checking me out if I"m okay, busy or nagbibisi-bisihan lang, and why am still awake?:
Thank you Lord for my friends who keep me company always, who care, who support, who give me headache as well as tummy ache, and who's always there specially in times like this. Take care of them, Lord and give them long life so all of us will always have fun times together! Amen.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
" Looking Up the Picture"
Before I go, my eyes caught my parents' picture near the door of the room. I intentionally nailed it there when I re-arranged the house. Though I put it there, I don't usually look at it, only now... it's my daddy's face which I don't want to look at!
My dad's 60 years old already but he's still able and good looking. Half of my features' from him, specially my chinita eyes. He's strict and perfectionist, a frustrated military man. We had many hard & difficult times, always at odds with each other, that's when I was in college. Nobody can't believe, even my mom that I would be his successor, (because I have 3 brothers). When I accepted this job, which is his job, and work with him, everyone in the family have their fingers crossed! Dad & I have exactly opposite personalities!
But all things worked well with the two of us. I can't believe he has trusted me so much, even with all his personal bank accounts! Maybe because both of us have "grown" with age. Maybe because both of us have realized how "beautiful" each of us is. Maybe because my dad have realized that in most part of my life, I am right. And maybe because I, too have realized that no matter what I do, wherever I may go, he is my dad.
In our family, it's not a practice to say or show expression of love. Concern,yes! But to say it,.... nahhh! ( I've beaten that in my personal life! I express!) ... In this blog, I honestly say, I appreciate my dad! I missed the big guy of our house! I can't help shouting at his picture, where he's smiling so gentle, " daddy, uwi ka na! ( gusto ko magbakasyon!)". Hu hu hu hu! And say to him in our conversation in yahoo messanger that, " miz ya, dad! Uwi ko!". He will just say, "Ok, wala na?". But he posts messages for me everyday in my e-mail !
If ever he will read this, I know what he'll give me..... a pat on my head. no words! But I
say, my daddy is a great father! A lot of people love him! And I miz him.... : )
My dad's 60 years old already but he's still able and good looking. Half of my features' from him, specially my chinita eyes. He's strict and perfectionist, a frustrated military man. We had many hard & difficult times, always at odds with each other, that's when I was in college. Nobody can't believe, even my mom that I would be his successor, (because I have 3 brothers). When I accepted this job, which is his job, and work with him, everyone in the family have their fingers crossed! Dad & I have exactly opposite personalities!
But all things worked well with the two of us. I can't believe he has trusted me so much, even with all his personal bank accounts! Maybe because both of us have "grown" with age. Maybe because both of us have realized how "beautiful" each of us is. Maybe because my dad have realized that in most part of my life, I am right. And maybe because I, too have realized that no matter what I do, wherever I may go, he is my dad.
In our family, it's not a practice to say or show expression of love. Concern,yes! But to say it,.... nahhh! ( I've beaten that in my personal life! I express!) ... In this blog, I honestly say, I appreciate my dad! I missed the big guy of our house! I can't help shouting at his picture, where he's smiling so gentle, " daddy, uwi ka na! ( gusto ko magbakasyon!)". Hu hu hu hu! And say to him in our conversation in yahoo messanger that, " miz ya, dad! Uwi ko!". He will just say, "Ok, wala na?". But he posts messages for me everyday in my e-mail !
If ever he will read this, I know what he'll give me..... a pat on my head. no words! But I
say, my daddy is a great father! A lot of people love him! And I miz him.... : )
Friday, May 18, 2007
heat, coffee and wishes
It's a very hot day!! Adding worst to it is the smell of LPG coming from the Shell Refinery nearby!! It's only 5kms away from our community. It's burning petroleum day and night, everyday! It triggered my asthma! I'm so glad I was able to bring my ventolin gun. I pumped 2 shots to my throat, no effect! I can feel the lack of oxygen in my body. I pumped in again another 2 shots. I became "groge", but I was still able to call in my trainees and give them their assignments before I decided to confine myself inside the airconditioned room in the house and rest.( My dad managed to have an aircon here for such a time as this.). I resent this ! I am alone here, its been 3 weeks now since my mom & dad went to Japan...and I feel sick! I have no cooked food in the fridge, all raw, and I can't get off my bed. Worst, am hungry!! I missed my mom! nyah!
I woke up at 2pm. Feeling okay na. Opened the computer and read the blogs of my links! After that, I tried to work on my notes again, and do some reading on Jim Cymbala's book "The Life God Blesses" (The secret of enjoying God's Favor). It's the 2nd book I read written by him. The other one is "Breakthrough Prayer". Both books are so good, timely and real! I did them while having my undying coffee and otap! I bought a can of otap 3 weeks ago. And the coffee... its 3 packs for 3 weeks, all gone now! I bought another one yesterday. Am becoming coffeeholic again drinking 4 to 6 mugs a day! kasalanan ng otap!!
I was able to break away from this coffee and softdrinks for 5 months, I guess. I learned to take choco drinks, milk, yogurt drinks , cereal drinks, juices and sorts to replace coffee. I did for 5 months, but these 3 weeks, the habit came in again! I only noticed it now. I can already hear what Rico, (a friend from Pluto), will yell to me at the phone when he learn am on the "mug" again. (He calls every week just to find out if am continuing on the milk habit. ). Coffee really tastes so good, specially brewed! no milk! It relaxes me! Having coffee under the banana tree, looking at the star- studded sky while thinking about what I have done and said the whole day.... utterring a short "thank you" prayer to God above,.... what more can you ask for in a simple life like this? It's like you have everything already.
Perhaps, that's the only thing I want in life.... a simple life... no complications... no pressures... out of my complicated life.
I'll go to Bulacan by Monday. Be back by Wednesday. I can now go to the dinner invitation I have next week, play R.O.S.E. with Pasaway Sexy, watch Pirates of the Carribean with friends, visit Rizal Park ( sana magawa ko pa.) and do some office works in the school where am connected. Am not a teacher. (defensive!) am often mistaken as one.
My wishes for today: That the Lord will bless my intentions and grant my requests of school supplies for our children in the community, and medicines for the people. That the rain will come on time.
I woke up at 2pm. Feeling okay na. Opened the computer and read the blogs of my links! After that, I tried to work on my notes again, and do some reading on Jim Cymbala's book "The Life God Blesses" (The secret of enjoying God's Favor). It's the 2nd book I read written by him. The other one is "Breakthrough Prayer". Both books are so good, timely and real! I did them while having my undying coffee and otap! I bought a can of otap 3 weeks ago. And the coffee... its 3 packs for 3 weeks, all gone now! I bought another one yesterday. Am becoming coffeeholic again drinking 4 to 6 mugs a day! kasalanan ng otap!!
I was able to break away from this coffee and softdrinks for 5 months, I guess. I learned to take choco drinks, milk, yogurt drinks , cereal drinks, juices and sorts to replace coffee. I did for 5 months, but these 3 weeks, the habit came in again! I only noticed it now. I can already hear what Rico, (a friend from Pluto), will yell to me at the phone when he learn am on the "mug" again. (He calls every week just to find out if am continuing on the milk habit. ). Coffee really tastes so good, specially brewed! no milk! It relaxes me! Having coffee under the banana tree, looking at the star- studded sky while thinking about what I have done and said the whole day.... utterring a short "thank you" prayer to God above,.... what more can you ask for in a simple life like this? It's like you have everything already.
Perhaps, that's the only thing I want in life.... a simple life... no complications... no pressures... out of my complicated life.
I'll go to Bulacan by Monday. Be back by Wednesday. I can now go to the dinner invitation I have next week, play R.O.S.E. with Pasaway Sexy, watch Pirates of the Carribean with friends, visit Rizal Park ( sana magawa ko pa.) and do some office works in the school where am connected. Am not a teacher. (defensive!) am often mistaken as one.
My wishes for today: That the Lord will bless my intentions and grant my requests of school supplies for our children in the community, and medicines for the people. That the rain will come on time.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The past days were loaded with work and I have to cope up with the fatigue by sleeping the nights through.
I said it's difficult to work in the midst of people you don't know, who are not of your kind. Though am happy about my work, I also encounter unlikely experiences like not being obeyed when I give commands simply because I'm a woman! Though my friends labeled me as "darna!", my darnatic charm sometimes doesn't work here. Muslims whether ethnic or not, regards women as 'low, lesser sex, nothing", though my commands are for their own good. I was passed by, ignored, as if I am not talking nor existing! Naiyak ako huh! Many vengeful thoughts get into my mind, but the angel on my right said, "think it over!". My ego said, I"d better go home, but my professional side said, " you got commitments, you should finish this job.".
May the good Lord blesses me with a patience as long as the South Luzon Expressway!
I can't hold back my tears, I shut the door of the mission house so no one would know I cried.
I remember a friend who seems to have a link to my mind, he knows if I'm in trouble or not feeling good: he calls up! Asking agad if I"m o.k.
He taught me to express what's exactly in my heart, and say exactly what's in my mind without fear! He taught me to be frank and honest about my feelings. Because women, he said, are not honest about their feelings. Women say the opposite of what's in their mind, so men find it difficult to understand them.
But he's not around. I don't know if he's gone or simply hybernating, soaking himself in the t.v. watching cartoons and listening to symphonies and fulfilling his motto : " my moves are unpredictable!".
I hope he'll call and show up one day! I wish.
A girl friend chat with me, saying she's brokenhearted, and she misses me... my company and my jokes. Hirap daw pala mag-isa! Well I said, "it's true.". And ask me to help her find a replacement, for a serious commitment, to end up her misery and sadness. I said yes and gave her an advice: Go to a mall. Find a seat where you can see everyone. While sitting look at the men passing by you and look particularly at the handsome guys. Look at them as if you're reading a mag. After 30 minutes, you'll find your brain cells alive again! It's a therapy! Your sadness will be lessened. Do it always, and you'll find yourself gotten over your bf!!
Well, believe me, it's effective!!
A friend told us once... Snooky, our dear friend said: If you will fall in-love, don't give your 100%, only 50%. The other 50% is for yourself. So when you break away from each other, you won't end up miserable! You must leave the other 50% to yourself, so you can move on right away after the break up. Remember, she said, you cannot love others if you don't love yourself.
She's right!
Another friend also said : If you will love giving your 100%, the pain will be insurmountable! (lalim!) And in case of break up, and find another one, what more can you give to the new one when you have given it all to the old one? You're already drained of yourself!
He's also right!
Time for a cup of coffee...
I said it's difficult to work in the midst of people you don't know, who are not of your kind. Though am happy about my work, I also encounter unlikely experiences like not being obeyed when I give commands simply because I'm a woman! Though my friends labeled me as "darna!", my darnatic charm sometimes doesn't work here. Muslims whether ethnic or not, regards women as 'low, lesser sex, nothing", though my commands are for their own good. I was passed by, ignored, as if I am not talking nor existing! Naiyak ako huh! Many vengeful thoughts get into my mind, but the angel on my right said, "think it over!". My ego said, I"d better go home, but my professional side said, " you got commitments, you should finish this job.".
May the good Lord blesses me with a patience as long as the South Luzon Expressway!
I can't hold back my tears, I shut the door of the mission house so no one would know I cried.
I remember a friend who seems to have a link to my mind, he knows if I'm in trouble or not feeling good: he calls up! Asking agad if I"m o.k.
He taught me to express what's exactly in my heart, and say exactly what's in my mind without fear! He taught me to be frank and honest about my feelings. Because women, he said, are not honest about their feelings. Women say the opposite of what's in their mind, so men find it difficult to understand them.
But he's not around. I don't know if he's gone or simply hybernating, soaking himself in the t.v. watching cartoons and listening to symphonies and fulfilling his motto : " my moves are unpredictable!".
I hope he'll call and show up one day! I wish.
A girl friend chat with me, saying she's brokenhearted, and she misses me... my company and my jokes. Hirap daw pala mag-isa! Well I said, "it's true.". And ask me to help her find a replacement, for a serious commitment, to end up her misery and sadness. I said yes and gave her an advice: Go to a mall. Find a seat where you can see everyone. While sitting look at the men passing by you and look particularly at the handsome guys. Look at them as if you're reading a mag. After 30 minutes, you'll find your brain cells alive again! It's a therapy! Your sadness will be lessened. Do it always, and you'll find yourself gotten over your bf!!
Well, believe me, it's effective!!
A friend told us once... Snooky, our dear friend said: If you will fall in-love, don't give your 100%, only 50%. The other 50% is for yourself. So when you break away from each other, you won't end up miserable! You must leave the other 50% to yourself, so you can move on right away after the break up. Remember, she said, you cannot love others if you don't love yourself.
She's right!
Another friend also said : If you will love giving your 100%, the pain will be insurmountable! (lalim!) And in case of break up, and find another one, what more can you give to the new one when you have given it all to the old one? You're already drained of yourself!
He's also right!
Time for a cup of coffee...
Monday, May 14, 2007
Today
Today, is election day! and here goes the "barakos" of batangas who's running for offices, w/ their people in the gates of the precints asking who you voted for? A wrong answer will earn a "uh uh uh!", with their forefingers speaking out " that's bad kid!"
Since we are in a hot spot ( becoz our communities are endorsing a candidate,..secretly.), we devised a way so our votes will be secured ( we hope so!) : my community who knows how to read and write assists the other communities who don't know how, (in-spite of the panananga ng mga teachers sa amin na ayaw papasukin ang mga assists, we insisted, reciting the rules... wala silang nagawa!) and nobody will speak Tagalog or English, kahit ako, we will speak sinama which no tagalog understand, only us!... Well, mine is sinama for beginners!
We also voted solid for mama Vilma S! Magaling naman talaga! and the rest? wala na kaming pakialam, di na namin kayang isulat lahat!! For our people who have such a simple mind and very simple existence on earth, the senatoriables & others are very, very difficult to know and to remember. They don't have time to listen to many campaign jingles, or read posters because they can't read or write, what they care is "sino ang mabait? sino ang pumapansin sa amin?sino ang totoong nakakatulong sa amin?"
After the tiring day, my assists & I passed by SM and did some gaming in Quantum. My students (the assists) were doing well in gaming, and they are no longer ashamed to stroll in SM . Before, they are ashamed becoz the tagalogs looked down on them, and abhor them becoz they were once dirty, filth-smelling beggars, illiterate and very,very poor! But now, our labours have been rewarded, teaching them for 7 years now, they are now literate, no longer beggars but having descent jobs as pearl sellers and the others are employed outside the community. They dressed like us already and have confidence to face other people not of their own kind. Although their culture remains, a lot has been changed! Am praying that the other communities will follow our footstep as I am pioneering the teaching there.
I received a phone call from my best friend's mom asking my status here. If am not sad or homesicked becoz am alone here, and she wanted me to go to Manila and give me a treat this weekend. Phonecalls like this one shatter the sadness of being alone in a strange place where the people are not like you. So am planning to go to Manila before weekend so I could make habol to watch spiderman. But am darn excited to watch The Pirates of the Carribean. And am gonna buy kids' movies for our kids here to watch.
I made-over our house, the mission house, so it will bear my trace. So I could sleep better at night. And most of all to find the toki who's bugging my sleep every 1am in the morning with his sound! Well, my carpenter wannabees found the poor 5 inches toki as if they're hunting for a croc! killed the 5 inches toki with a kris and a broomstik!! hay naku!! Akala ko ba ang lahi ninyo ang pumatay kay Magellan, bakit toki lang para kayong papatay ng giant buwaya?!My laughs!!
( toki - tag. "tuko"; eng.? ewan ko ba, nakalimutan ko na.)
I ended up my day threatening the guy who's bugging me for 2 days now with his frequent but senseless phonecalls, disturbing my work , becoz he has nothing to do! I raise my voice and said, " if only I could reach out my hands to you, I want to squeeze your neck and pound you like a lice! Ang kulit mo!Di ako namimigay ng picture! Di ako artista!". Of course, my students threw me their wide- eyed look.... "bayolente din pala si teacher!"
If only I could say, am waiting for a phonecall from someone I misses a lot, yet not missing me at all!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Since we are in a hot spot ( becoz our communities are endorsing a candidate,..secretly.), we devised a way so our votes will be secured ( we hope so!) : my community who knows how to read and write assists the other communities who don't know how, (in-spite of the panananga ng mga teachers sa amin na ayaw papasukin ang mga assists, we insisted, reciting the rules... wala silang nagawa!) and nobody will speak Tagalog or English, kahit ako, we will speak sinama which no tagalog understand, only us!... Well, mine is sinama for beginners!
We also voted solid for mama Vilma S! Magaling naman talaga! and the rest? wala na kaming pakialam, di na namin kayang isulat lahat!! For our people who have such a simple mind and very simple existence on earth, the senatoriables & others are very, very difficult to know and to remember. They don't have time to listen to many campaign jingles, or read posters because they can't read or write, what they care is "sino ang mabait? sino ang pumapansin sa amin?sino ang totoong nakakatulong sa amin?"
After the tiring day, my assists & I passed by SM and did some gaming in Quantum. My students (the assists) were doing well in gaming, and they are no longer ashamed to stroll in SM . Before, they are ashamed becoz the tagalogs looked down on them, and abhor them becoz they were once dirty, filth-smelling beggars, illiterate and very,very poor! But now, our labours have been rewarded, teaching them for 7 years now, they are now literate, no longer beggars but having descent jobs as pearl sellers and the others are employed outside the community. They dressed like us already and have confidence to face other people not of their own kind. Although their culture remains, a lot has been changed! Am praying that the other communities will follow our footstep as I am pioneering the teaching there.
I received a phone call from my best friend's mom asking my status here. If am not sad or homesicked becoz am alone here, and she wanted me to go to Manila and give me a treat this weekend. Phonecalls like this one shatter the sadness of being alone in a strange place where the people are not like you. So am planning to go to Manila before weekend so I could make habol to watch spiderman. But am darn excited to watch The Pirates of the Carribean. And am gonna buy kids' movies for our kids here to watch.
I made-over our house, the mission house, so it will bear my trace. So I could sleep better at night. And most of all to find the toki who's bugging my sleep every 1am in the morning with his sound! Well, my carpenter wannabees found the poor 5 inches toki as if they're hunting for a croc! killed the 5 inches toki with a kris and a broomstik!! hay naku!! Akala ko ba ang lahi ninyo ang pumatay kay Magellan, bakit toki lang para kayong papatay ng giant buwaya?!My laughs!!
( toki - tag. "tuko"; eng.? ewan ko ba, nakalimutan ko na.)
I ended up my day threatening the guy who's bugging me for 2 days now with his frequent but senseless phonecalls, disturbing my work , becoz he has nothing to do! I raise my voice and said, " if only I could reach out my hands to you, I want to squeeze your neck and pound you like a lice! Ang kulit mo!Di ako namimigay ng picture! Di ako artista!". Of course, my students threw me their wide- eyed look.... "bayolente din pala si teacher!"
If only I could say, am waiting for a phonecall from someone I misses a lot, yet not missing me at all!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
It's a busy day & am doing 2 chores at the same time (always like that).Thanks to the people who helped! When my phone rang, someone from Davao del Sur, asking if he could sing me some songs! (what?I can't believe it! who is this??) Well, he said he heard my voice & kinda mesmerized by it! (haba ng hair ko!) And believe it or not, kinantahan nga ako!!! 3 songs pa!! talaga naman!! with accompaniment pa! harana ba ito??
Well, I can't blame him. Di siya nag-iisa! When I worked as an assistant dj to my friend in a local radio station, I got fans mostly men, who paid visits to the station only to exclaimed, "Ikaw si Chai??" Hmmmp......
I watched Shallom Jerusalem from my dad's archive, its a concert. very touching. reviving. I watched it over & over again...
...a song goes like this:
In Your presence, that's where I am strong,
In Your presence, O Lord,my God.
In Your presence,that's where I belong,
Seeking your face, touching your grace,
In the cleft of the rock, in Your presence
O God.
I want to go where the rivers cannot overflow me,
where my feet are on the rock.
I want to hide where the blazing fire cannot burn me....
In Your presence O God.
I want to hide where the flood of evil cannot reach me,
where I'm covered by the blood.
I want to be where the schemes of darkness cannot touch me..
In Your presence O God.
i cried....... hard..........
baruch haba b'shem Adonai.
Well, I can't blame him. Di siya nag-iisa! When I worked as an assistant dj to my friend in a local radio station, I got fans mostly men, who paid visits to the station only to exclaimed, "Ikaw si Chai??" Hmmmp......
I watched Shallom Jerusalem from my dad's archive, its a concert. very touching. reviving. I watched it over & over again...
...a song goes like this:
In Your presence, that's where I am strong,
In Your presence, O Lord,my God.
In Your presence,that's where I belong,
Seeking your face, touching your grace,
In the cleft of the rock, in Your presence
O God.
I want to go where the rivers cannot overflow me,
where my feet are on the rock.
I want to hide where the blazing fire cannot burn me....
In Your presence O God.
I want to hide where the flood of evil cannot reach me,
where I'm covered by the blood.
I want to be where the schemes of darkness cannot touch me..
In Your presence O God.
i cried....... hard..........
baruch haba b'shem Adonai.
Friday, May 11, 2007
listening to: I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by aerosmith (my song!)
Been so busy in the past 2 days, but not in the mood,kinda melancholic. Kahit naman siguro sino mapunta sa lugar ko, ganito mararamdaman. It's my 2nd week of being home alone!Hirap kumain mag-isa!The ratio of the people here againts me is 100:1, ako ung 1!
I did some politicking these days, making sure the whole tribe will correctly vote for our bet.Cook jelos for the kids,visit the people and make kumusta, make a hundred bookmarks for the sponsors of the kids, arrange the kids' enrollment to a public school nearby, update my report for the sponsors,train, shovel the sand in-front of our house (sakit ng bicep ko!),do my shopping & do some paperworks for the school which I must send through e-mail.I did all these things melancholically yet perfect!
I only laughed when the school called me up & told me that a "papable" teacher is applying for a position!It was stressed enough that made me blurted out laughing! Honestly I prefer good looking employees,(its just a suggestion to the HRD), because the kids nowadays are naughty, specially in schools.. & the female employees must be inspired to work! ganda ng logic ko, pang nerd!..... and Ram called up, a friend from outerspace!
While working, these things popped up in to my mind: wala lang...
1. You can only be hurt if you allow yourself to be hurt. You can be happy if you want to be.Pain and happiness are both choices.
2. Don't do anything becoz of what other people might think of you. Be in-charge of your life.Destiny is a choice. It's a decision.
3. Don't dwell on your past mistakes. To dwell on it will crash your creativity & you won't be able to move on.
4. Focus on what I want-- should be my mindset!
5. In order to harvest 500 apples, you need to plant 10 apple seeds. To sell a product, you need to talk to 50 clients; and to meet your someone special, you need to meet 1000 acquaintances! Nakakailang acquaintances na ba ako? Ha ha ha ha!
I don't know why I remembered these. I wrote them once in my journal. Madalas ako matisod ngayon mga araw na ito. A friend of mine said," somebody doesn't want you to move on.Somebody's blocking your way & you're sensing it!" Oww!
time to eat watermelons! my favorite fruit! Chow!
Been so busy in the past 2 days, but not in the mood,kinda melancholic. Kahit naman siguro sino mapunta sa lugar ko, ganito mararamdaman. It's my 2nd week of being home alone!Hirap kumain mag-isa!The ratio of the people here againts me is 100:1, ako ung 1!
I did some politicking these days, making sure the whole tribe will correctly vote for our bet.Cook jelos for the kids,visit the people and make kumusta, make a hundred bookmarks for the sponsors of the kids, arrange the kids' enrollment to a public school nearby, update my report for the sponsors,train, shovel the sand in-front of our house (sakit ng bicep ko!),do my shopping & do some paperworks for the school which I must send through e-mail.I did all these things melancholically yet perfect!
I only laughed when the school called me up & told me that a "papable" teacher is applying for a position!It was stressed enough that made me blurted out laughing! Honestly I prefer good looking employees,(its just a suggestion to the HRD), because the kids nowadays are naughty, specially in schools.. & the female employees must be inspired to work! ganda ng logic ko, pang nerd!..... and Ram called up, a friend from outerspace!
While working, these things popped up in to my mind: wala lang...
1. You can only be hurt if you allow yourself to be hurt. You can be happy if you want to be.Pain and happiness are both choices.
2. Don't do anything becoz of what other people might think of you. Be in-charge of your life.Destiny is a choice. It's a decision.
3. Don't dwell on your past mistakes. To dwell on it will crash your creativity & you won't be able to move on.
4. Focus on what I want-- should be my mindset!
5. In order to harvest 500 apples, you need to plant 10 apple seeds. To sell a product, you need to talk to 50 clients; and to meet your someone special, you need to meet 1000 acquaintances! Nakakailang acquaintances na ba ako? Ha ha ha ha!
I don't know why I remembered these. I wrote them once in my journal. Madalas ako matisod ngayon mga araw na ito. A friend of mine said," somebody doesn't want you to move on.Somebody's blocking your way & you're sensing it!" Oww!
time to eat watermelons! my favorite fruit! Chow!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
I just finished my dinner, & now havin' my dessert. Too early for breakfast!
I went to Manila yesterday to submit a proposal to World Vision Foundation for the people here at 11am, and talked to a bank loan officer in Bulacan at 2:30pm. Once again, I was Darna (w/o a Ding)! I was thinking of playing "Rose", but I changed my mind, instead I dropped by home. My Aunt thought she saw a ghost when I entered the gate, but then on said, "Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito? Bkit ka nandito?Bkit ka umuwi?" I got a big, "Huh?!" in my mind. "Don't you like to see me? Didn't you missed me?"... Nyahh! Drama!
I enjoyed the night with the "ducktrap" & the "meow meow". But my fun was aborted when I saw my hair on the mirror! "This is what I get from believing my hairdresser! I look like a ghost indeed! So I told I'll cut my hair short again....but I wanted a changed image! Can't decide which, I ran a text survey to my friends : "What do you think, shall I cut my hair short or not?Why?" goes my question in my survey, and I got some responses that pricked my mind:
A: " Cguro wag na lang paputol. Isah might get angry." (Isah is Jesus in Islam. correction, di po ako Muslim.) Ano connect?
R: "Wag u paputol,gusto q sa babae mahaba buhok!" ( Halerr!nag-aapply ba akong gf mo & you want me to please your taste? Excuse me!)
R2: "Mas maganda pahabain mo! ("Do u think bagay sa akin?"I asked.) Hindi! Pro mas maganda mahaba! ska pataba u bocing!"- Grrrrrr!!!!
My staff unanimously voted to have my hair cut. They too,thought I was a ghost when they saw me enter my office! But up to now, here in Batangas, still undecided whether I should pay David Salon a visit. But on my way here, while on the Slex ,I was thinking, "Why do men prefer girls to have long hair? What's in the girl's long hair that makes a man? Curious lang.
I was sporting a very short hair for 10 years. Am trying to make it grow long for a change, to soften my "dating". And it's working! But the looks of it is half Gloria Romero and half Elvis Presley!That's why am "napapraning" bout it!
Got my devotions at 9pm, & here again alone, & it's morning already. I'll do some politicking tomorrow, I mean mamaya.And it's raining na here! I wish the rain will wash away the pains in our hearts and make new seeds of love and joy grow from it! I wish the floods to come will bring to us the people whom God has prepared just for us! I wish our prayers will be heard and answered by our loving God so all of us will be happy!
I went to Manila yesterday to submit a proposal to World Vision Foundation for the people here at 11am, and talked to a bank loan officer in Bulacan at 2:30pm. Once again, I was Darna (w/o a Ding)! I was thinking of playing "Rose", but I changed my mind, instead I dropped by home. My Aunt thought she saw a ghost when I entered the gate, but then on said, "Ano'ng ginagawa mo dito? Bkit ka nandito?Bkit ka umuwi?" I got a big, "Huh?!" in my mind. "Don't you like to see me? Didn't you missed me?"... Nyahh! Drama!
I enjoyed the night with the "ducktrap" & the "meow meow". But my fun was aborted when I saw my hair on the mirror! "This is what I get from believing my hairdresser! I look like a ghost indeed! So I told I'll cut my hair short again....but I wanted a changed image! Can't decide which, I ran a text survey to my friends : "What do you think, shall I cut my hair short or not?Why?" goes my question in my survey, and I got some responses that pricked my mind:
A: " Cguro wag na lang paputol. Isah might get angry." (Isah is Jesus in Islam. correction, di po ako Muslim.) Ano connect?
R: "Wag u paputol,gusto q sa babae mahaba buhok!" ( Halerr!nag-aapply ba akong gf mo & you want me to please your taste? Excuse me!)
R2: "Mas maganda pahabain mo! ("Do u think bagay sa akin?"I asked.) Hindi! Pro mas maganda mahaba! ska pataba u bocing!"- Grrrrrr!!!!
My staff unanimously voted to have my hair cut. They too,thought I was a ghost when they saw me enter my office! But up to now, here in Batangas, still undecided whether I should pay David Salon a visit. But on my way here, while on the Slex ,I was thinking, "Why do men prefer girls to have long hair? What's in the girl's long hair that makes a man? Curious lang.
I was sporting a very short hair for 10 years. Am trying to make it grow long for a change, to soften my "dating". And it's working! But the looks of it is half Gloria Romero and half Elvis Presley!That's why am "napapraning" bout it!
Got my devotions at 9pm, & here again alone, & it's morning already. I'll do some politicking tomorrow, I mean mamaya.And it's raining na here! I wish the rain will wash away the pains in our hearts and make new seeds of love and joy grow from it! I wish the floods to come will bring to us the people whom God has prepared just for us! I wish our prayers will be heard and answered by our loving God so all of us will be happy!
Monday, May 7, 2007
It's a rare day....resting on the middle of the day eating melons! My hands are usually filled with things 2 do like working on handcrafts for the sponsors and friends,cooking soups for the kids out there or reading books and modules for my next teaching time. But today is different, I'm resting! Yehey!
I recently talked w/ my Dad via broadband, saying they'll come home by July pa, savoring their vacation in Japan! OMG!! It's the savings account that 1st flashed to my mind... staying in Batangas is more expensive than staying in Boracay!! Totoo yan!Soaring ang prices ng mga bilihin even services! It's better off in Manila! When it comes to people,maraming magaganda at mga gwapo dito, but with some scent of elitism.You can't blame them, it's their Spanish heritage.But they're friendly naman.
We're preparing for the rainy season..so we've done some construction job to keep the huts strong inspite of the storms to come, plant some veggies and herbs for the community because when rainy days come,pearls are not that in-demand.By the way, the people here live by selling pearls and gathering metals from sunken ships in the bay nearby. And while working, I'm thinking:
1. What else can I do to keep the loneliness of aloneness off bay? I defeated the fear of being in the midst of a muslim ethnic minority known for such and such as that, the fear of not knowing how to swim but frequently travelling by banca & the fear of death, but not that above! I haven't!
2. How can I help Akish pass the Mombusho exam?
3. How will the prophetic utterances I received come to pass in my life?
4. Where are my friends? Have they forgotten me?
5. Where is Mark? Is he ok?
6. my pillow.my bed.my spaghetti tops.my shorts and my school.
end of the line.... am already thinking too much & too many! Perhaps a chocolate ice cream will sooth my mind.....
I recently talked w/ my Dad via broadband, saying they'll come home by July pa, savoring their vacation in Japan! OMG!! It's the savings account that 1st flashed to my mind... staying in Batangas is more expensive than staying in Boracay!! Totoo yan!Soaring ang prices ng mga bilihin even services! It's better off in Manila! When it comes to people,maraming magaganda at mga gwapo dito, but with some scent of elitism.You can't blame them, it's their Spanish heritage.But they're friendly naman.
We're preparing for the rainy season..so we've done some construction job to keep the huts strong inspite of the storms to come, plant some veggies and herbs for the community because when rainy days come,pearls are not that in-demand.By the way, the people here live by selling pearls and gathering metals from sunken ships in the bay nearby. And while working, I'm thinking:
1. What else can I do to keep the loneliness of aloneness off bay? I defeated the fear of being in the midst of a muslim ethnic minority known for such and such as that, the fear of not knowing how to swim but frequently travelling by banca & the fear of death, but not that above! I haven't!
2. How can I help Akish pass the Mombusho exam?
3. How will the prophetic utterances I received come to pass in my life?
4. Where are my friends? Have they forgotten me?
5. Where is Mark? Is he ok?
6. my pillow.my bed.my spaghetti tops.my shorts and my school.
end of the line.... am already thinking too much & too many! Perhaps a chocolate ice cream will sooth my mind.....
Saturday, May 5, 2007
I travel most of the time. And that's the reason why it's only this time I got into my blog. I frequently make south and north's ends meet.Tiring but it's a time to sit back,on the bus,to think about my life, God & the people that sorrounds me.It's also a time to see places and faces. But it's also a time to test my patience and tolerance, na sa awa ng Lord ay hindi ko maipasa! Specially if the hussle is being a seatmate to a fat lady,whose body shouts like Gengis Khan wanting to invade the rest of the seat, shoving off my slim body with their big thighs!Kulang na lang daganan ako!At pag nag "excuse me po, di po me makahinga.naiipit po ako.", ay di tataasan ka lang ng kilay!(Sarap tusukin ng aspili!) Sana mauso din ang segregation sa mga puv!Kawawa naman ang mga payat!
I arrived in the city here in the South at 6:30pm. So I decided to eat my dinner at SM and did my evening shopping for groceries so I don't need to go back to the city for food when I get to the tribe where I work. And since I am alone, I need to secure my personal needs because it'll take a long time before I get to the city again.
Approaching the place gives me excitement, to see the people, but I also feel the loneliness. As King Solomon puts it," Two are better than one;because they have a good reward for their labor.For if they fall,the one will lift up his fellow;but woe to him who is alone when he fall,for he has not another to help him up."
I arrived in the city here in the South at 6:30pm. So I decided to eat my dinner at SM and did my evening shopping for groceries so I don't need to go back to the city for food when I get to the tribe where I work. And since I am alone, I need to secure my personal needs because it'll take a long time before I get to the city again.
Approaching the place gives me excitement, to see the people, but I also feel the loneliness. As King Solomon puts it," Two are better than one;because they have a good reward for their labor.For if they fall,the one will lift up his fellow;but woe to him who is alone when he fall,for he has not another to help him up."
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Think About It?
"Ur sad becoz u can't have d 1 u love...but wat u don't realize is dat smebody is in deeper pain 4 not havin' u." that's a text! and I received it 4x this week from different people while manning a cooking team ! I texted back 3x "wla na bng iba?" I thought of throwing the thought right away, but I paused for a while and kinda think a little deeper: sometimes letting go should not be that painful pala because that might be heaven's way of directing you to the right person who truly owns you! The realization should have brought me relief-- like a light bulb that turned its light on.But no, instead, nainis ako! Nainis ako, kasi bakit ngayon ko lang naisip iyan at bakit ngayon lang dumating ang text na iyan?!!!
It's summer, and summer is suppose to give me fun and excitement because its cool to do a lot of things and meet people on summer time! But it's not! Instead, the heat of the sun and the dry soil activated my allergic rhinitis! It's disgusting to talk to people with a red nose like rudolf!! But one thing is sure that will linger on in my mind this summer which my old friend once told me that, " men are God's gift to women!" Ha ha ha ha!They are wrapped in different and colorful wrappers, and they are nice to look at. : )
It's summer, and summer is suppose to give me fun and excitement because its cool to do a lot of things and meet people on summer time! But it's not! Instead, the heat of the sun and the dry soil activated my allergic rhinitis! It's disgusting to talk to people with a red nose like rudolf!! But one thing is sure that will linger on in my mind this summer which my old friend once told me that, " men are God's gift to women!" Ha ha ha ha!They are wrapped in different and colorful wrappers, and they are nice to look at. : )
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