If You Think...

someone said I should be ashamed about my posts
in this blog....

This is my blog, and i write my thoughts here

about the things that i encounter, where there are lessons to learn.

Sometimes, just my happy experiences are posted here.

Just to share.

Should i be ashamed of my thoughts?

Should i be ashamed of my happy moments?

No! That could be pretentious!

Why post them?

So you will know what's in my mind,...while am working

with my hands.

So you will know me better.

At least 50% of who I am.

Yap, 50%!

Why you need to know me?

Because I know I'm a beautiful person,

not just to look at...

(And I like you to know things that i learn too.)

But the trouble is

You don't want to see inside my mind

so you will know how beautiful i am,

so you will also know how good you are!

Life is beautiful!

We have to appreciate it

if we want to grow old gracefully.

(",) ('-')

After All

I'm back after 3 days of "vacation" in Bulacan. I feel so good moving alone, without pressure, without anything that might curve my mood!

I got this so happy day! But in every sun that shine, there will always arise a rain cloud! Shukks! Spoiled my day!
All I have said was, " I need space!".
It's an alien word to me, but for the first time I crave for it!

I have my share of spolied day! But its so nice to have someone beside you to tell you, " Don't mind it. Be strong! Think about only the good things that has happened to you!"
Yeah, he's right!
And I felt good!

I have learned a lot this day.

1. To be unmoveable, you need to have a lot of guts to stand on what you believe is right and hold on to it until the result that you want is realized!

2. "Today, I am alive, and the whole world is mine."

3. Love is a choice.


eicher,
thank you for being there.

"Spacey space"

I need space right now.

We need space in order to grow. To rethink about the things we should have thought before.

We need space to move freely, to explore the things around us, and learn how every living and non-living thing " came about".

We need space to be alone. To realize, to gain wisdom.

We need space to be us. To be truly us.

Does space hurt?

Not it doesn't.

But it will if we fail to understand what it is for.

Does it has its limits?

I don't think so.

It is healthy.

It is fine.

No need to fear.

No need to worry.

"sometimes i run. sometimes i cry.

sometimes i'm scared of you.

but all i really want is to hold you tight..."

There is a time for everything

It's Sunday afternoon, taking a short break from my very hectic day.... "ang hirap talaga ng nag-iisa." quote of one of my female friends. " Ay, Oo!" sabi ko naman, "...sanayan lang 'yan!". Sanayan nga lang, ngunit nararamdaman ko ang katotohanan ng sinabi ng aking kaibigan! Hay yay yay!!
" Kumusta ka, wonder woman?", my friend greeted. "Pwede ba Darna na lang? Masyado akong maganda para maging Wonder Woman!!", my reply.... just a joke!!! yeah, to curve away my tiredness.
I can't wait for Monday! Sana Monday na ngayon! I will go home and see my loved ones and friends, watch Harry Potter, ( sus, sana abutan ko pa!), see eicher, and tuck my head onto my favorite pillow the whole day. Eat my favorite foods with my meow and pingu! Scare all the people in our compound for 1 day, greet all the tinderas in the palengke on Wednesday morning, not to buy, just to see and greet them! Weird? (Well, someone has to know me better). Finish my painting on our wall... that's right! If still I can, see Jose Rizal before I return to Batangas, ang lupain ng mga matatapang at.....( ehem)! But I have to change attire by Tuesday, put on my corporate dress and be a boss for one day in our company!!! Ano'ng klaseng bakasyon 'yan? Trabaho din? Pwede bang wag na lang akong pumasok? Pwede bang ibang tao na lang muna ang mag-intindi ng mga problema para sa akin? I am shaking by merely seeing the gate of my workplace! My gosh, buti na lang wala akong alta presyon! Kung hindi, natsugi na ang beauty ko noon pa man! Iwanan ka ba namang mag-isa ng mga matatapang mong kasama sa industriya at ipataw lahat sa balikat mo ang lahat ng problema at alalahanin ng kumpanyang yan, at pag may palpak ay kagagaling na sabihing, " bocing, you made a wrong decision! You should have done it this way... or that way!". Huh? Kaya minsan di nila ako masisi na isnabin ko ang mga kagwapuhan at kautakan nila! At kung minsan, di nila ako masisi na I spend an hour or two at starmart instead of talking to them! At kung minsan, di nila ako mapigil na isiping isang araw, mas gusto kong maglagi sa lugar ng mga katutubo, sa lahat ng parte ng Pilipinas, kaysa pumasok sa aking opisina! You know, a bit of encouragement for people like me, helps a lot to keep us going!

Sometimes, I would like to go some places, away from all my works and know again the meaning of the word, " serenity". I"d like to grow old gracefully. I'd like to see myself in the future sitting on a beach with someone before a sunset. My gosh! I can't do that if I will kill myself working almost 24 hours a day! But job calls.... hu hu hu! Nah, but am damn happy at my work in the tribe! So ano'ng inirereklamo ko? Wala lang, sobra lang akong pagod! Na sa sobrang ka bisihan at kapaguran ko ay nalilimutan kong batiin at alalahanin ang dapat kong alalahanin at batiin!! Ay, ang gulo!

I don't like it this way. I'd like to have time. Time for myself, time for my loved ones, time to see and feel that life is an experience to enjoy and appreciate, it doesn't matter if it's raining or shining! But I think, having time is also a matter of choice!


"I'd like to see the forever in your eyes!"


(kainis, napaka sentimental ko ngayon!)

Rainy Days... Starless Nights yet Bright Nights

" Raindrops are the bravest things God ever created... know why?
coz they're never afraid to fall!"

... so the text I recieved goes.

Some time, I wish was a raindrop. Not afraid to fall!

I did fail, a lot of times! The common feeling? It hurts!

People are afraid of falling because it hurts!

Am I afraid to fall? Yeah, I was. But not anymore!
I realized that sometimes to fall is good for your "health", and falling in many ways in many areas in our life is innevitable specially since our nature is vulnerable to you know what.
Happiness is real and life is true when we have fallen. Because you knew what it is to be human.

(Hayyy!!! Ano bang sinasabi ko? I have become too serious.)

God has been so good to me. He has His little ways of putting back the smiles on my face!
I got a little anxious yesterday. I remembered some thoughts that I realized was not yet settled in my mind. Triggered, it caused me a deep sadness.

Though it was raining, I went to the city to do some mailing... the rain, for the first became good on my skin! On my way to SM Batangas, a cute little boy sat beside me. While we talk, it's as if God was talking to me, telling me, "I'm with you. Don't be afraid."

I did some archading. I enjoyed "Time Crisis", breaking away from my stresses. For every bullet that I shot in levelling up goes down to my anxiousness, and my sadness. There goes the walls!! Timbering!!

I walked home, instead of riding. The mountains were partly covered with rain clouds. They're beautiful, with the rain clouds! I can hear the still small voice of God in my heart, "Who told you to be afraid? Who told you, you will walk alone in this one? Didn't I tell you I will walk with you through this one?".

Peace.

I bowed before Isa Almasih (Jesus Christ) when I reached the village. A solemn serenity enveloping the worship place. I can almost feel the smile on His face, as He always do every time I bow before Him. " I will be with you when you go through this one. We will walk together."
Enough has been said.


" You are forever in my life.
You see me through the seasons.
Cover me with your hand.
And lead me in your righteousness...

And I look to You.
And I wait on you."


I want to go on a hundred miles from here. = )

Read Eicher. It's For you!

I am happy you are here reading my posts!

I hope you know now what's in my mind!

I'm so happy to have you here in my life!


Hanep!!!

"Life, Eicher is sometimes like this."

Tonight is the first clear evening sky of July! I decided to go for a short walk in the village. I looked at the light studded mountains not far away from our place... it's beautiful! The gentle breeze is lightly touching my face and neck like an embrace.

I stood up in the middle of the village, looked up in the sky and uttered a short prayer. Prayer is what I can do now.

"I wish, Oh God, I am only dreaming... and please wake me up.
I know I can't do anything for this.... please be in control."

I sat down under the banana tree and tried to organize in my mind what is this happening to me.

Life is sometimes like this. It has its way of making you laugh and cry. It also has its way to make you hysterical or placid. Sometimes it has its humor, and sometimes its humor hurts! It breaks! Sometimes it's just so fair, everything seems to fall into right places, and we all laugh unendlessly! However and whatever it may be, there is something to learn... always.

It's like weathering a rock formation-- it can change, or add something to who you really are. As for me, I changed! It etched in me humility. I got a deeper understanding of... love and forgiveness.

But you said, Love is not a destiny. It's a choice!
Yes, I see, and it's true. Everything we do is a matter of choice.
But Newton is also right when he said that in every action, there is an equal or opposite reaction.
Even our choices have equivalent reactions. It's up to us how to bear them! Tama ba ako?
...but our choices are hanging in the air.


Between us is a river with a bridge, none of us can't go up to the other side, because the bridge is broken.
Between us is a giant wall that separates us from even merely our views of each other. Only our voices can be heard!

Life is sometimes like this.

Acceptance is a must if we want to survive;
the right choices, if want to stay happy;
and prayer if we want to keep on moving.

Do not worry, life doesn't end here...

Ours is a Koreanovela

Eicher...

for a short period of time, you add happiness to my secluded world.

for a short period of time, you add laughters to my smiles... yet you said, my eyes can't hide what's in my heart!

Yeah! for a short period of time, my organized schedule and life was broken... by you... to add meaning to my routine!

for a while, I have learned to crossed boundaries and bridges I've never crossed before!

for a while, I have tasted how it is to be free.

for a while, I have known what a wonderful person you are!.... and it's worth my tears!

for a while, I have known how it is to be sweetly loved.... yeah, for you are a sweet person!

who would forget you?

maybe I wouldn't, even if I go a thousand miles away!

for a short period of time, I could say that I bacame a fool.

but it's worth it!


shall we be content in merely glancing at each other?

shall we be content in merely seeing through small chances of looking at each' image in our minds?

but ours is in the wrong time!

in a wrong time!

it's like a koreanovela,

that happened in the wrong time!

and what good will ever come out in a situation that happened in a wrong time?

..... just memories.


( i hope you could read this, so you will know how deep the pain is.)

sa aking mga bisitang mambabasa: pakiusap lang po, walang kokontra! akin 'to! basa na lang kayo or makiiyak na lang! pagbigyan na lang!