Control

I want to be in control.

Reading through the blog posts in Create Abundance 2020.net, I discovered that I share the same outlook as the other leaders there.

"You cannot let other people, circumstances, finances, environment, etc to control you if you want to succeed. You should be in control."

That's where our brain is for.

"Fear of becoming who we are hinders us from being in control."

That's true! and... fear of risking to fail!


My business has no money as capital, yet it's running. I need capital but none among those I asked to invest, or buy wants to take the risk... because of the recession!
So what must I do now?
I took control of its finances. But honestly, I need to be more financially educated. So I made and entree' to CA2020.
Does my being in control contradict my faith? I don't think so. For God has given us human brains to think and use the thoughts we formulated in our brains. Still God will be glorified!
Nobody wants my school-- I will run it again!

I don't need to enter the rat race to fill up the need. I will kill myself. I need to look at my asset, or find another asset who will fill up the school's needs until the school can run by itself though its own money. So I need to go home earlier than September 26.

Then I need to sit down. Ask some coaching. Make a plan. Execute the plan.

I have to retire by 46 and spend some of my fruitful time traveling.


My farm in Facebook gave me a lesson also. I started farming without coins and farm money. I over cultivated my soil. But I have 2 plots of grown strawberries ready for harvest. That 2 plots gave me my initial money! Eventually I ended up cutting up my plowed land to reduce my expenses and allow the remaining land to grow plants.. then after marketting my harvest, am now ready to expand again!

My night this night is not wasted! So I will buy my plane ticket back to Manila tomorrow!!

Yahooo!

Why?

why i can't seem to forget?

maybe because i have loved so dearly, truly and purely...

Great Things Here

It's my 3rd day without work. And it's my 3rd day on job hunting in this unfamiliar place of Macau.
Many wondered why I rather give up my school and seek a job in this far place. Why not in the Philippines? Why abroad?
My family also wondered why I chose to take lesser jobs than my position in the Philippines.
Was it because of money?
Or was it because of something else?

Both.

I want to heal myself.
I want to do what I want to do.
I want to be who I must be.
I don't want to think anymore.
I wanted change!
Because I'm already tired!

I know I will come back again to the Philippines but it must be a new me.
And I know now why am resting till the 3rd day:
To realize a lot more deeper things in life.
And am willing to take the risk just to get the new me and my new horizon.

I know for some people my decision hurt. But it'll be for a while. Soon they will understand.


My acknowledgement to the following:

1. God for the 3rd day rest.
2. My friends and family in the Philippines for not texting me.
I had plenty of time to think, re-think and be alone with myself.
3. My brother for the milk tea, refreshing my "diwa" after the long process of realization.
4. Bea Alonzo and Sam Milby for the movie " And I Love You So"
5. Bea Alonzo and John Lloyd for their movie " One More Chance"


My few accomplishments in Macau:

1. Eat longanisa and drink ice tea. (Wala akong magawa, kailangan eh!)
2. Sleep without blanket. ( it's so hot in here! Grabe!)
3. Sleep with just one pillow. (Matipid and brother ko, ayaw bumili ng maraming pillows.)
4. Be in an airconditioned house the whole day! ( beating my allergies away!)
5. Learn computer operations beyond what I already know. (or else, wala akong makakausap at
di makakapag work.).
6. Magtipid

Life is boring when you do not want to extend yourself to your environment. When you want to keep what you know is right but is not right for the moment.

This Sleepless Night

Life is still beautiful in spite of so many negative things around. I am a survivor and will remain a survivor while am alive... and still life for me is beautiful!

I'm sleepless tonight. I'm thinking again.

1. I'm selling my school. I want to pursue my calling.
2. I want to be rich.
3. When will the one for me will come?

That's what in my mind.

I have learned that destiny is a choice and you can control your life, and choose where to go. I have chosen where I want to go and what to do. But many things want me back to my comfort zone. Something "Who moved my Cheese?" said is normal. I don't want there anymore! There is excitement in finding new cheeses!

Walking along the lighted and beautiful streets of Macau in City of Dreams, Venetian and the City itself, I can't help concluding that man's mind seem limitless in materializing whatever is in his imagination. So I said to myself, that I can materialize whatever is in my dreams. I need to make a bridge between my dream and reality, even though I am alone in doing it. Who cares?

Meeting Carol amazed me. She's a teacher in China and only 25 years old, and single. She's done it and I said, I'm not truly alone. There are a lot of people out there like me, and we are many! And the feelings and questions I have are not peculiar- they're real and everyone else's feeling it!
And I began to love myself more and my daughters.

I learned to be braver and stronger... in Macau!

This is just a vacation. How much more if I will stay here longer?

I dream of visiting Israel. I want to go to Jerusalem and see the Wailing Wall in the Western Gate. Why? I want to say my prayers there. The Lord will hear it like a thunder! It's the Wailing Wall, haler!

Days From Now: After the Changes

I am only counting days before I leave for another country. That's how far changes brought into my life nowadays. I can't believe this happen in just less than a month. Am excited to find new horizon and new peace of mind. Though I'll gonna leave so many things behind, am full of faith that bigger things will come my way.