Great Things Here

It's my 3rd day without work. And it's my 3rd day on job hunting in this unfamiliar place of Macau.
Many wondered why I rather give up my school and seek a job in this far place. Why not in the Philippines? Why abroad?
My family also wondered why I chose to take lesser jobs than my position in the Philippines.
Was it because of money?
Or was it because of something else?

Both.

I want to heal myself.
I want to do what I want to do.
I want to be who I must be.
I don't want to think anymore.
I wanted change!
Because I'm already tired!

I know I will come back again to the Philippines but it must be a new me.
And I know now why am resting till the 3rd day:
To realize a lot more deeper things in life.
And am willing to take the risk just to get the new me and my new horizon.

I know for some people my decision hurt. But it'll be for a while. Soon they will understand.


My acknowledgement to the following:

1. God for the 3rd day rest.
2. My friends and family in the Philippines for not texting me.
I had plenty of time to think, re-think and be alone with myself.
3. My brother for the milk tea, refreshing my "diwa" after the long process of realization.
4. Bea Alonzo and Sam Milby for the movie " And I Love You So"
5. Bea Alonzo and John Lloyd for their movie " One More Chance"


My few accomplishments in Macau:

1. Eat longanisa and drink ice tea. (Wala akong magawa, kailangan eh!)
2. Sleep without blanket. ( it's so hot in here! Grabe!)
3. Sleep with just one pillow. (Matipid and brother ko, ayaw bumili ng maraming pillows.)
4. Be in an airconditioned house the whole day! ( beating my allergies away!)
5. Learn computer operations beyond what I already know. (or else, wala akong makakausap at
di makakapag work.).
6. Magtipid

Life is boring when you do not want to extend yourself to your environment. When you want to keep what you know is right but is not right for the moment.

On Stopping

Sitting before the blogger dashboard, my world froze for quite a long time.
"What will I write?" My last post was on May and it's already July.
My mind wandered until all I see on my computer's screen were the screen savers.
My mind went back as far as May...

Iwas so preoccupied by so many things that my mind stopped talking!
I stopped looking at things and situations.
I stopped thinking about those things and situations.
I stopped gaining insights.
I stopped appreciating.
And I saw I became so sensitive.
My courage was lessen.
And I was diagnosed with a heart damage that will be with me a lifetime.
No possible remedy.
And I was forced to stop for a while from minding a lot of things and people
And I start to think again and appreciate.

My forced vacation made me realized I'm still alone.
But the flowers are beautiful, the wind smells good, the sunsets speak of God!
Life is beautiful.
My courage came back so is my strenght.
I feel more alive and free!
My mind started to see again.
Catch me if you can!