Tams and Joy

Unlike the other married couples in our Badjao community, Tams and Joy's love story is different. The two got married out of passionate love for one another contrary to the Badjao culture of marriage.

In our tribe, if a man wants to get marry, which is usually begins at the age of 13. He will go around the community, or go to other Badjao communities in Luzon and Mindanao to look for a girl he wants to marry. It is not out of love but out of want, mixed with the interest in the status of the girl and her family. If he finds a girl he wants, he will then, with his family elders, post a dowry dictated by the girl's family. If the girl refuses to accept the dowry of the man, she will be "legally liable" to the community and the man's family that she has to pay a certain amount as moral damages penalty for refusing the man. Most of the girls really has no choice but to accept and marry any man who would post a dowry in the liking of their families.

And I saw how these loveless marriages work in the community. They often give me headache . Annulment of marriage costs only P2,000 depending on the business sense of the tribal leader.The jewelries and monetary dowry will be divided. The children are automatically awarded to the father.


But Tams and Joy are different. Their families do not approved of one another because Tams is poor. He was a sea diver. Joy comes from the Abdullah clan, well to do. But the two eloped so they won't be separated. And in their culture, if a woman is seen with a man, she is already perceived as " not virgin anymore." So the families got no choice but to wed the two regardless of the dowry.

Theirs is the only marriage that didn't cause me headache. They are harmonious. Though very poor, I don't hear or see them arguing about jewelries, food and money which most couples do after a long week of selling pearls by the men. They speak sensibly about life and their faith in God. Their children are quiet and well behaved. I see how Tams rear his 2 boys to serve God in their early years, teaching them to recite memory verses from the Bible and how to worship Isa Almasih. Tams is one of my student in our training class. He is grade zero, as he calls himself. He never attended school in our community because he needs to sell pearls everyday because of poverty, yet he strove hard all by himself to read and write... and he does now! His diligence to study the Word of God, attend my training class and read and write, he is now one of my finest speaker in class. And his wife Joy is a very good song leader.


Looking at Tams and Joy during our Sunday Worship Service, I can't help but smile and utter a wishful prayer to have a family like this. The smile continue a smile.


Cruising along Manila on Eicher's "mercedez benz" ha ha ha! The rain suddenly poured.
O my gosh! It's raining! And Eicher started calling out my name telling me it's raining and as if I could do something to stop the rain from falling.

I started to pray and look at the sky, " Lord, make the rain to stop. I don't want to get wet!"
The answer came right away- the rain stopped!
"Ha ha ha galing mo hah!", said Eicher.
A tinkling idea flashed to my mind, " If I can make the rain to stop from falling, then I can make the miseries to stop coming in to my life.". Yeah, I can!

A friend texted me this puzzling quotation : " Do one thing. Do it right. Finish it."
I will follow the rain principle and finish it!

My headache persists as I am making this screwy plan in my life. My mom was sleeping with the radio on beside her. The announcer said, " When God speaks that He will do something in your life, He will do it in your life 100 percent!". Oww gosh, the heavens is screaming on my ears again! Ha ha ha ha! Here comes the sun! the sunflowers and the sunburns! he he he!

I will wait upon the Lord.
He's been so good to me!