Always You

If there is one thing I cherish in this world right now,

it's not riches,

it's not honor,

it's not fame,

nor glory nor

the attention of the world...

it is you.

I thank God for every morning I wake up

beside you,

for every night I lay down

with you.

I may find all things I dream of,

but what would it mean

without

you?

Oh how I want my wishes come true,

for I dearly want

that I spend my life with you.

to walk each day,

to face each sunset,

to enjoy this life,

nothing else I will ask for.

You just don't know how much

you make me happy.

In spite of so many misunderstandings.

I count them as nothing,

for they don't mean a thing

compared to what I feel

in your presence.

I cherish you

now

and always

in my heart.

and

it will always

be

you !

Introspect

I give this feelings to You,

something I never wanted.

for I know in my spirit only You can help ~

my Lord,

can take and replace.

heal my heart, take away this feeling

of sadness that my being alone in life brings.

instead remove the scales from my eyes

and let me see

and enjoy every moment I have with my loved ones..

that going home to you early be departed from my mind,

just to be at peace,

just to stop thinking,

when will this feeling end.

Help me to enjoy every moment

and never look for things that are not here.

find solace and contentment,

not asking for anything in return,

not looking for what is impossible to be mine.

to understand deeply,

to love unconditionally,

to cherish every moment that is given to me.

I let go...

let go of this madness to You.

I choose to die to myself as I climb into Your presence again,

so I may live again..

alone or not

I live by my name.

Hear my Lord.

Hear oh God.

Selfless Love

"learn to watch .. learn not to see..but just look.

learn not to speak ... but learn to read even without words.

learn how to stand and lend a hand..

but learn not to ache when your eyes found,

what you wish isn't there, your heart cannot bear.

learn not to care but care coz you love.

breath in life never look back.

at the end of the day, sigh your heart out,

for tomorrow is another day

for your selfless love."

When Reasons Fail

You, I love so dearly.

I cherish so seriously.

I wish you know,

Yes, it's true!

The big wall between us,

The gap of time that surrounds us,

are like drops of water on a bucket,

like teardrops on a heavy rain.

Some words are filled with uncertainties,

A back door you opened for a possibility.

(Oh, how my heart ache,

my world crashed a bit..)

I understand but no!

I chose to love you,

to keep you in my heart.

To take whatever comes my way.

I have no reason

but my love for you.

Perhaps, if there are other reasons,

and those reasons fail,

in waiting for you..

I have another reason to take,

You love me.

That I know.

It's all I believe.

I hope one day we'll find each other.

No more walls,

No more gaps.

No more uncertainties,

But only Us.

We....... just Us!

What a day..!

end song: Maybe It's You

Out of the Deep.....Randomness

I fought our way in to the light.... I was able to secure our lives.

We are happy.

We felt good.

I decided to share my life with others.

I helped others fought their way to the light..... they were able to secure their lives.

They are happy. They felt good.

I was happy. I felt good.

One day I was strolling a mall, I saw a happy family.

My kids are grown up, secured...ready to have their own.

The family I saw was laughing and sweetly touching each other.

I got sad. I felt alone.

I hurriedly left the place...I don't wanna see what others have

that I don't.

But I found myself in-front of two people loving each other.

I began to get annoyed.

What am I doing in places like these?

My unconscious spoke....." they are everywhere....and you are missing them..."

When I was over tasking for my family and others I thought about myself:

"It's my time..time for myself."

But my doors were shut up...I got imprisoned with this sickness.

And I found myself in a vague world I cannot understand.

Akala ko isang araw, mag wa walk ako along an isle to say my vow of love.

Akala ko isang araw, I'll be finally happy.

Akala ko isang araw, magagawa ko na ang mga bagay na pangarap kong gawin.

Akala ko isang araw, ako naman ang tatawa at ngingiti.

Akala ko.... akala ko....

isang araw.... isang araw.....

Nasaan na ang mga akala ko at ang mga isang araw?

Nilamon na ng sakit na ito na tanging himala ng Dios lamang ang makakasolusyon.

Dati...a woman told me as she held my hand.... she said, " I've never seen a woman having such lines on the palm. I only see these kinds of lines on men. I will pray to God that one day you will be happy because you are not destined to be happy. You're only destined to make other people happy."

Parang gusto ko ng maniwala. Imagine, I am sick and yet a lot of people are still blessed by my disposition, by my laughter, by my words, by my strength.

If only they know the tears I am shedding everyday.

The pain I am enduring randomly....

Haizt, no one cares to know. No one cares to listen.

They just like watching my every move.

And ask how I am making it each day with such a strength, such laughs, such smiles, such moves. Then shake my hands to say-- " You are a blessing to me....".

Sometimes, I wish this would end...that I go home but I always choose to stay because of one person I wish to see and be with. Yes, am still hoping for the elusive happiness. But somehow, I get weak. I also lose my sight somehow...and I sleep with tears.

Gusto kong pumunta sa isang lugar na ako naman ang pangingitiin at patatawanin...hindi ng isang clown kundi ng kagaya ng mga nakita ko sa mall at sa jeep. Gusto kong kumilos ng walang batas at patakaran na nagdidikta kung paano ako kikilos.

Gusto kong sumaya isang araw,....hindi pansamantalang saya kundi panghabambuhay.

Gusto kong lumaya sa karamdamang ito.

Gusto ko pa ring tuparin ang lahat ng gusto kong gawin,

para sa pamilya..... kahit natapos ko na.

para sa Lord ..... kahit araw-araw ay ganun na.

para sa ibang tao...... kahit sapat na...

para sa aking sarili......wala pa akong nagagawa kahit isa!

Haizt....