The past days were loaded with work and I have to cope up with the fatigue by sleeping the nights through.

I said it's difficult to work in the midst of people you don't know, who are not of your kind. Though am happy about my work, I also encounter unlikely experiences like not being obeyed when I give commands simply because I'm a woman! Though my friends labeled me as "darna!", my darnatic charm sometimes doesn't work here. Muslims whether ethnic or not, regards women as 'low, lesser sex, nothing", though my commands are for their own good. I was passed by, ignored, as if I am not talking nor existing! Naiyak ako huh! Many vengeful thoughts get into my mind, but the angel on my right said, "think it over!". My ego said, I"d better go home, but my professional side said, " you got commitments, you should finish this job.".

May the good Lord blesses me with a patience as long as the South Luzon Expressway!

I can't hold back my tears, I shut the door of the mission house so no one would know I cried.

I remember a friend who seems to have a link to my mind, he knows if I'm in trouble or not feeling good: he calls up! Asking agad if I"m o.k.

He taught me to express what's exactly in my heart, and say exactly what's in my mind without fear! He taught me to be frank and honest about my feelings. Because women, he said, are not honest about their feelings. Women say the opposite of what's in their mind, so men find it difficult to understand them.

But he's not around. I don't know if he's gone or simply hybernating, soaking himself in the t.v. watching cartoons and listening to symphonies and fulfilling his motto : " my moves are unpredictable!".

I hope he'll call and show up one day! I wish.

A girl friend chat with me, saying she's brokenhearted, and she misses me... my company and my jokes. Hirap daw pala mag-isa! Well I said, "it's true.". And ask me to help her find a replacement, for a serious commitment, to end up her misery and sadness. I said yes and gave her an advice: Go to a mall. Find a seat where you can see everyone. While sitting look at the men passing by you and look particularly at the handsome guys. Look at them as if you're reading a mag. After 30 minutes, you'll find your brain cells alive again! It's a therapy! Your sadness will be lessened. Do it always, and you'll find yourself gotten over your bf!!

Well, believe me, it's effective!!

A friend told us once... Snooky, our dear friend said: If you will fall in-love, don't give your 100%, only 50%. The other 50% is for yourself. So when you break away from each other, you won't end up miserable! You must leave the other 50% to yourself, so you can move on right away after the break up. Remember, she said, you cannot love others if you don't love yourself.

She's right!

Another friend also said : If you will love giving your 100%, the pain will be insurmountable! (lalim!) And in case of break up, and find another one, what more can you give to the new one when you have given it all to the old one? You're already drained of yourself!

He's also right!

Time for a cup of coffee...